My son leaves our house open and the dogs run free

[Joylove]

  Hi my son is 20 years old has blp if he's alone at home and he leaves the house door open and gate our 2 dogs get out the lab can open doors and gates if they aren't fastened shut.Does anyone know how I can inspire him to lock up the house.I'm scared with our dogs running lose that one of them will get hit by a car and killed .I've told him he needs to shut the door several times he refuses.I'm wondering if he purposefully is doing this.When I tell him please make sure you shut the door he's says no da 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Dibdob59]

Hi

I can't offer a solution but can confirm that both my UBPDS and UBPDH do this and it is both puzzling and deeply worrying.

My DS does take care not to let the dogs out but nearly always fails to lock the house he rents. I don't get it!

When I say anything to him he says he will remember in future but then does not.

My DH both leaves the house unlocked, windows open and allows the dogs to roam free unsupervised. This has resulted in our dogs fighting with other dogs who are being walked on lead past our house. It has also allowed our (generally lovely) dogs to chase people on cycles and resulted in complaints from others. The danger and consequence are irrelevant to my DH and he says people are over reacting and being unreasonable.  However my DH has never shown respect or concern for society's rules and regulations so this is on a par with his general 'I will walk to the beat of my own drum' mentality.

Sorry I can't offer anything to help other than wonder if this is another BPD trait of just not bothering?

[Joylove]

  59 Thanks for your response it doesn't give me a solution but does let me know that I'm not the only one or crazy.I'm still open to a solution if anyone has one thanks

[pessim-optimist]

  Joylove!

If your son consistently shows irresponsibility, you might either have to do something about it (How important is it? How far do you want to go?), or let it go (and risk the dogs' safety), or make sure that the dogs are locked up in a kennel or in a safe area whenever you leave the house (it's unfair to the dogs, but it may keep them safe).

[qcarolr]

My dh has put spring hinges on all exterior doors so they shut by themselves. He has put strong gate springs on the yard gates so they also shut by themselves. We did this after 1. we got a dog running at large warning 2. our lab mix chased a rabbit in front of a car - the rabbit made it our dog rolled off the bumper, then continued on after the rabbit.

Our gd9, ADHD impulsive/distracted and defiant was unable or unwilling to shut the gates.

This has solved the dog problem for the most part at our house. Home Depot had all the stuff he needed.

qcr

[Joylove]

Thanks for all your input about springs on doors gates and kennels.I'm thinking I'll lock the dogs in my bedroom. 

[pessim-optimist]

There are usually multiple answers to one question!

Whatever works!