Phone conversation with exBPD's current BF

[AlwaysForgiving]

It's been a while since I've been on here and I'll try to keep this short.

My exBPDgf called me up last week after a month of NC. She was sobbing (of course) and wouldn't tell me why. I felt like she wanted me to invite her over or at least give her validation, but I didn't. I come to find out that she only called me because she was fighting with her current bf and once she ran back to him (after our conversation), she wouldn't even say hello to me and had no interest in reconnecting with me anymore.

Well, things escalated, we fought again and she had her BF call me with his chest all puffed out acting tough. It took me about 30 seconds for me to cool him off and he became very friendly and was VERY interested in the things I had to say. I asked him... .

Has she broken up with you yet?  Yeah... .

Does she cry a lot?  Umm... .yeah... .

Have you noticed she's a bit unstable? ... .yeah... .

We ended up talking for 20 minutes and I basically told him that she is going to make his life hell. But, the most important thing I got out of the conversation was that it confirmed it wasn't just me who noticed her erratic behavior. It also told me that I shouldn't take the things she does personally.

I felt bad for him because he's young and he has no idea what he is getting into with her.

[AlonelyOne]

My S2BX had a live-in boyfriend.  I watched that relationship degrade and crash. And the most interesting aspect was the realization, it wasn't me. It was her. As she did a lot of the same crap to him.

[AlwaysForgiving]

Ok, here's the thing... .I really held back when I was talking to him. I didn't mention BPD. I didn't give him any specific horror stories. I couldn't do that to her. I was satisfied warning him. I knew the rest he would have to find out himself and get out of that relationship on his own. But, it sounds like she already has her hooks in him... .

He did ask me "If you think she's so horrible, why do you still care?" I told him that was a very good question (ha!) and that I ask myself that everyday.

He also said, "She's just going through a hard time right now." I thought the same thing during our 3-year relationship. Well, she was going through a hard time before our relationship, during our relationship, and after... .it never ends.

[thereishope]

Well, she was going through a hard time before our relationship, during our relationship, and after... .it never ends.

!

[OutOfEgypt]

Ha.  Their *life* is a "hard time."  Period.  One endless chain of hard-times that make it somehow excusable for them to act how they act.