She’s already found a new victim…

[Jimmy84]

So, i was starting to feel pretty good about myself, thinking i dodged a huge bullet, after all the stuff i went through with my dBPDexgf, when word gets to me that not only is she already found someone to entertainer, she’s already having sex with him…

When we started dating, we only had sex after 2 months, and she always was kinda insecure about herself, in something’s, regarding sex. By the end of the 6 year relationship, after I helped her release all that pent up sexual drive and desire, she was much better at it and really more at ease with herself (I hope I’m explaining it well, pretty much I helped her discover and really bloom her sexuality). Now, I think she only knows this guy for less than 1-2 weeks, can’t be more than that, and already she’s having sex with him… After all that went between us, she crying 2 months ago that wanted to fix things and all that jazz, and from what friends tell me, she’s be having some of the best months ever… What the hell, was I really just holding her back or is this just not normal, or am I really just a f... ing loser that just allowed her to steamroll me all this time and now she’s getting it good with someone else…

Was going so good, and now I’m getting crazy again… Plus, last week I had 2 dreams with her, one kinda crappy, other really sexual, but I was ok with it, it’s natural, but knowing some other guy is porking her so soon and she’s all happy with it, just burns inside…

[FoolishMan]

I feel your pain. The same thing happened to me. I even got the locker room stories from people who know me and him. It made me physically sick. She of course told me it would take her years to get over me etc etc all the rubbish she had him lined up as soon as I was gone. It's so hard but eventually you will be ok. Just believe in yourself that she was wrong for you no matter what. He will get it worse than you had it. I know I've seen and heard it first hand. As quick as it's went good for him it will go bad. Just don't wait on that happening move on too. It took me months to stop writhing in pain but go NC look at nothing delete everything NC is the way. Pain comes with contact after replacement. I've been there and I've read the horror stories here. You are better than that. Go NC now and see how long you can do it. Day by day. I sweated and could have swore I could tell when she was aroused of having sex. It was abysmal. But it passed. I only got there by giving up on my fantasy of her as good or 'cured' or whatever. I just don't see it happening. I don't want it anyway I'm at the point of disgust.

[Jimmy84]

I did go no contact, it was a friend of mine that relayed the news, and then it all spiraled down… He had good intentions, to make me see her for what she really is and what she’s doing, and in the long run, it was better this way, moving one wise, but right now, it just hurts so much, I can’t even sleep…

[Blimblam]

I did go no contact, it was a friend of mine that relayed the news, and then it all spiraled down… He had good intentions, to make me see her for what she really is and what she’s doing, and in the long run, it was better this way, moving one wise, but right now, it just hurts so much, I can’t even sleep…

The pain is unavoidable. It's there the best thing to do in my opinion is embrace it and feel it or else it will linger under the surface forever acting out in destructive ways.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

I did go no contact, it was a friend of mine that relayed the news, and then it all spiraled down… He had good intentions, to make me see her for what she really is and what she’s doing, and in the long run, it was better this way, moving one wise, but right now, it just hurts so much, I can’t even sleep…

So many of us have been there.  Yes it is gut wrenching.  It passes.  They made us feel very special and irreplaceable during the idealisation phase.  We are special - but to the BPD we cannot be irreplaceable.  The disorder destroys both us and them.  The good news is that we do recover.  They rarely recover.  The new guy is entering the Venus fly trap. The sooner he escapes, as you have, the better his odds of surviving.

[rizi78]

my exBPD gf was having a sex affair with her bro in law , and also having a sex affair with her new teacher i came to know about it later really hurt me to the core then we had a fight and we stopped talking i am having NC for last 6 months and after two or three months of NC you start to feel better and start to enjoy your life initially its really tough .