Idealizing your children

[Youcantfoolme]

So my brother and his BPD wife of less than a year, are expecting their first child this spring. I've taken notice, and this may seem odd but I feel like his wife is already idealizing her unborn child. I know we all do that to some degree. We look at any new life as a blessing and all babies are idealized to some degree but his BPD wife keeps referring to their unborn baby as their "little princess". I personally hate that word. I feel like it gives little girls unrealistic expectations. I fill it fills their heads with the ideation that they're entitled and that they deserve special treatment. What really bothers me about it is that she used that term for her 12 year old daughter too. using it for the unborn baby too is weird to me  will probably make her older daughter feel less special. I find it especially strange because she calls her daughter a princess but treats her more like a pheasant. She tends to say really critical and embarrassing things about her in public. While she's standing there.

I'm so worried for this baby. I feel like she's using the baby to trap my brother and to control him. I also feel like she's using it to garner attention for herself. its as if she views the baby as an accessory and not as a human being. I'm scared and I was hoping for a boy because I see the way she competes with her older daughter. Now that her daughter is reaching her pre-teen years, she's seen as competition and not as a child.

My mom went to brunch with them the other day and she said The BPD spent the whole time talking about the baby and their plans for the baby. She was telling the other daughter that she was going to have to help out a lot with the baby. Especially if she wakes the baby up by making noise. She said, "whoever wakes the baby, takes the baby." I think that's incredibly unfair to bestow upon a 12 year old girl. She didn't ask to be an older sister or to have a baby come into her home. Why is she now expected to partake in care taking for the baby? She's only 12!

Has anyone else noticed that women with BPD tend to idealize their children? I'm just curious if this is an actual thing or if I'm thinking too hard about this.