Ounce triggered

[jammo1989]

Hey guys fron your own personal experiences, when your ex BPD 1st got triggered through jealousy, did it just pass, or did it result into constant accusations and a complete down hill in your relationships?  Could you ever reasure them enough that they were being silly about these accusations, or did it lead to an on going cycle of pushing you away?

Thanks again guys

X

[BrokenFamily]

For me it would all depend on the circumstances. If she was having troubles with her BFF or upset and her hair or frustrated with the baby she would get triggered easily and explode like crazy on everyone in her path. If she got triggered and was having a pretty good day it would be minor and she would just be quiet until her feelings returned to normal. As far as I can tell, the fear, anger, trust issues and self doubt is always there and can be triggered by something big or small depending on the baseline mood.

[shellbent]

My ex would never tell me straight that she was jealous. Only later did I realize that her reactions were causing her to distance herself from me. A coworker, people's pictures I liked on FB or pretty much anyone that was talking to made her anxious. She would just hide it though and rage inwardly.

So I cannot tell you as I never got jealous of my ex, which is really strange because I have never trusted anyone this much before in my life.

And even at times when I asked if it was ok that I go with some friends to a sleepover BBQ. She told me that it was fine, even though I invited her and told her it would be a lot of fun. She just told me that she trusts me and she knows that I won't do anything to hurt her. So eerie but it might have been mirroring.

So this is why I have a hard time hating my ex, she doesn't try to make me jealous and hides her r/s status from me, and also doesn't talk to me. I wish I knew why, but it has something to do with what happened after our bu.

I know that deep down she didn't feel like I wanted her enough, she thought that I will find someone better than her anyways. She seemed this low on self esteem.

In her words: "I don't think I am the girl that you have painted a picture of in your mind." But regardless I am not the type to cheat or mess around with girls. I am always committed to my gfs, so I don't know why she got this idea in her mind, but it must have taken a couple months to solidify in her mind. Who knows when she started feeling insecure. If I try to think back it was  probably after 6 months. However she did have a few annoying things about her and I think it was her anxiety and self loathing that made her retract and spend time away from me while we were together. She would always avoid social situations. That has changed a lot now, she has a lot of people around her "cheering" her on.

[shellbent]

ps: I wish my ex accused me of something. Then I could have defended myself.

[Mr Hollande]

It passed then resurfaced, then it passed and resurfaced only to pass and resurface and then pass and... .

5 years later - Game Over!

[Deeno02]

ps: I wish my ex accused me of something. Then I could have defended myself.

She got jealous of my daughter. Nice.

[Bak86]

She always told me she never gets jealous, such a lie!

During the relationship i never noticed her being jealous. After the relationship i noticed when i would give attention to other women, i could see the anger in her. She becomes quiet and retracts.

[Mr Hollande]

ps: I wish my ex accused me of something. Then I could have defended myself.

She got jealous of my daughter. Nice.

I remember you saying she called your daughter a cock block. That is just amazing!

Mine once threw a hissy because I checked a ferry for her. She'd asked about it a week before and when I sent her the info she thought I was texting my "other girlfriend" (whoever she was) in preparation for some Victorian style eloping through Europe. ":)ump me anyway you like but not like this!" she cried. I had to laugh at that one.

[NorthLight]

She always asked me if i was cheating on her when i was at the gym (3-4 times a week).

She never got mad and yelled, she just asked in a tone that she really wanted to make sure i wasn't, and was always staring really deep at me when asking, as to see if i was lying or something.

i had to convince her every time that i wasn't... Kinda the same way i always had to convince her that "no I'm not going to give up on you and dump you, why are you so afraid of this, our rs is so good, why do you keep taking this topic up" (then suddenly BOOM and I'm dumped and replaced haha) 

[Compassion14]

With mine insecurity, unjustified jealousy and devastating accusations were always murmuring away in the background, even when I initially didn't first realise. Over time they got worse in nature and more frequent/less hidden. Just prior to breaking up he accused me of 'getting up to something' with his brother on Christmas day, - me having just met his brother and with the WHOLE family around, me chatting to everyone trying to make a good impression - w.t.f? Then soon after that he became jealous of the attention I was giving my young child - said she was an 'inconvenience' though later furiously denied it - I assume when his shame kicked in. 

Why of why did we put up with this nonsense? Compassion to an unhealthy degree I think.

Good luck to him and his next victim. I hope she's ready for the ride.

Uuugh. 

[Deeno02]

With mine insecurity, unjustified jealousy and devastating accusations were always murmuring away in the background, even when I initially didn't first realise. Over time they got worse in nature and more frequent/less hidden. Just prior to breaking up he accused me of 'getting up to something' with his brother on Christmas day, - me having just met his brother and with the WHOLE family around, me chatting to everyone trying to make a good impression - w.t.f? Then soon after that he became jealous of the attention I was giving my young child - said she was an 'inconvenience' though later furiously denied it - I assume when his shame kicked in. 

Why of why did we put up with this nonsense? Compassion to an unhealthy degree I think.

Good luck to him and his next victim. I hope she's ready for the ride.

Uuugh. 

My gf turned out resenting my daughter who loved her like a mom. Called my daughter a cock block and accused her of being my wife. All i ever showed her 5 children was love and attention,  including getting her autistic son into football and helping him learn to tie his shoes. Accused me of thinking of her and her kids as pains in the asses. Hurt me very badly. I hope the next s**thead and her totally find their freakin happiness. ... .or not

[Lion Fire]

Oh yeah! She picked up on something by going through my notebook. She grilled me on this interrogation style. She was satisfied with my response , let it go and we went through this cycle every few days. She could not let it rest. She was unbelievably jealous, like nothing I've ever experienced. Its awful bring on trial and constantly vigilant of every move I made. I was so into her, there was no chance of me messing around but she chose to doubt all the time, her paranoia and jealousy crashed the relationship... .she used my "dishonesty and disloyalty " to justify insane her behaviour. Such a waste of time

[Blimblam]

Early in the relationship if she got jealous she would chase me. This made me more desirable to her.

After the discard she wouldn't get jealous she would get even.

Eventually when she wanted me back when she would get jealous she would chase.

Push pull crazy making.

It was all about her needs. Selfish selfish selfish.

[Flora73]

Deeno My exBPDgf got jealous of my 8 year old daughter too.

She gave constant silent treatment mixed with warmth and happiness... .same cocktail that creates BPD.

I never picked up on it, but my daughters Nan who came for dinner did when I was cooking dinner... .

My daughter started hating herself as she didn't understand what what was happening... .why she was being ignored etc

I started to see through things when she emailed one day suggesting I send my daughter away next time I have her and then she called and abused me for my daughter being a "bad eater"

Anyway... .

Be careful... .I waited 3 months to talk to her about this as she had been ignoring me, finally I exploded one night, after the final clean up with a child T and dealing with my daughters mum (who was amazing and understanding) and messaged my exBPDgf 15 texts all the details of what she had done... .next thing Im down the police station 

I now look BPD... .I lost my impulse control big style... .but it all needed to be said.

[Deeno02]

Deeno My exBPDgf got jealous of my 8 year old daughter too.

She gave constant silent treatment mixed with warmth and happiness... .same cocktail that creates BPD.

I never picked up on it, but my daughters Nan who came for dinner did when I was cooking dinner... .

My daughter started hating herself as she didn't understand what what was happening... .why she was being ignored etc

I started to see through things when she emailed one day suggesting I send my daughter away next time I have her and then she called and abused me for my daughter being a "bad eater"

Anyway... .

Be careful... .I waited 3 months to talk to her about this as she had been ignoring me, finally I exploded one night, after the final clean up with a child T and dealing with my daughters mum (who was amazing and understanding) and messaged my exBPDgf 15 texts all the details of what she had done... .next thing Im down the police station 

I now look BPD... .I lost my impulse control big style... .but it all needed to be said.

Shes on to thd next dude and its killing me. But i will not tolerate her crap against my kids. No freakin way. I will never take her back, even as much as i really do, but she blew it.