Has anyone gotten an invitation?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Heel... You make so much sense and are helping me much more than you know. She is better than me at showing emotion or lack thereof. She kept saying to me that I was "still attached " and it was from me showing emotion while unloading on her. I tried so hard to contain myself in the face of her lies and projection, but my words had been held in for nearly 4 months. I held my ground on the things I already know about BPD, and she displayed every trait. This board and the advice and support of everyone  is like a playbook in dealing with this illness and I will be even better prepared for the next reengagment. I felt bad putting her out of my home but in the end I had to do what I had to do... .

[VistaView]

Heel... You make so much sense and are helping me much more than you know. She is better than me at showing emotion or lack thereof. She kept saying to me that I was "still attached " and it was from me showing emotion while unloading on her. I tried so hard to contain myself in the face of her lies and projection, but my words had been held in for nearly 4 months. I held my ground on the things I already know about BPD, and she displayed every trait. This board and the advice and support of everyone  is like a playbook in dealing with this illness and I will be even better prepared for the next reengagment. I felt bad putting her out of my home but in the end I had to do what I had to do... .

[fromheeltoheal]

She kept saying to me that I was "still attached " and it was from me showing emotion while unloading on her.

Well there you go, confirmation.  That's actually a good thing, you know what you're up against.

She is better than me at showing emotion or lack thereof.

Because she has to be and has a lifetime of practice.  Borderlines don't like themselves much, so being open and honest about what's really going on is not an option, plus attachments are everything to someone who thinks they wouldn't exist without one, so they get very, very good at presenting false selves and being who they need to be in any situation.  You can't compete with that.

Good luck on the next encounter, and keep posting!

[myself]

VistaView, it sounds like you are detaching more than still attached.

Undeniably letting go, so she's trying that much harder to hang on.

While continuing to face the facts, keep doing what's best for you.

Now that you've "unloaded", feel relieved, stay NC, and move on.

We all deserve honesty in our lives.

When we're real with ourselves, we have it.

[VistaView]

@Myself... You are exactly right. I told her I will not put up with dishonesty any longer and she somehow STILL thinks it's ok to do just that. I see how she struggles with telling the truth and it is a sad sight to see. But the lies roll off her tongue like nothing.  I am relieved that I got it off of my chest and yes, she is still trying to hang on with a distorted view of relationships... .

Heel... You already know the depth of your advice. Thanks and I will post the next encounter to you.