Saw my ex with another guy so upset.

[Depression = 72% of members]

I saw my ex (un diagnosed)bp girlfriend last week with another guy.She looked so happy and everything appeared to be so good in her life,while I seem to be going nowhere.I spend so much time trying to work out what happened.She moved into my house and stayed for about 9 months saying she wanted to start a family with me and at first everything was so amazing.

There where a few red flags which I put down to her being a little quirky and decided that they where part of her charming, slightly crazy, personality.We had an argument where she ,astonishingly,accused me of seeing someone else.This shocked me and made me angry.She left me the next day.

[Realgonekid]

I saw my ex (un diagnosed)bp girlfriend last week with another guy.She looked so happy and everything appeared to be so good in her life,while I seem to be going nowhere.I spend so much time trying to work out what happened.She moved into my house and stayed for about 9 months saying she wanted to start a family with me and at first everything was so amazing.

There where a few red flags which I put down to her being a little quirky and decided that they where part of her charming, slightly crazy, personality.We had an argument where she ,astonishingly,accused me of seeing someone else.This shocked me and made me angry.She left me the next day.

[antonio1213]

You will be alright. Mine story is kind of like yours. She moved in with my (for only 2 months) and told me she wanted a family and everything than she just one day left.

It sucks. I saw her with another guy walking with him and I started having a panic attack.

The guy your exBPDgf is with is going to go through the same ___ as you. It is okay to be upset. They jump from person to person without ever really having a true connection. Sorry that happened to you. You aren't alone, I am going through the same exact thing you are

[Panda39]

We had an argument where she ,astonishingly,accused me of seeing someone else.This shocked me and made me angry.She left me the next day.

Sorry to say it sounds like she was projecting her own behavior on to you.   :'(

[Realgonekid]

Thank you for the replies.

It's amazing how quickly she came and went.I have felt so ashamed that it was all my fault.

Maybe I could have tried harder in the relationship but I was giving to the extent that I started to feel tired and used.The demands became ever greater as time went on.

In the beginning it was heaven on earth, beautiful trips to the sea,restaurants,hotels.So much tenderness.

The first time I really began to suspect something was wrong was after a fantastic day when everything was going perfectly she went into a rage, accusing me of being in love with her best friend.

[Tom P]

I know it hurts Realgonekid and i can feel your pain on this one. That inevitable moment when you see them with another man rips into your heart and you experience true hurt and agony at that moment,i know it did with me. But remember this,they are all actors/actresses to an extent (hell my ex was even involved in a local theatre company, the strange thing is i always found her a little wooden when she was on stage,where as in her real life "acting" she was oscarworthy . When you see her she is not happy,she truly isnt,she is putting on a performance.The same performance that possibly snared you in the first place. The new man falls for it just as you did,its only over time that he will begin to see through it all and realise she is not as genuine as she appears (i realised it fairly early into the realtionship,but chose to ignore it,silly silly me )

She moved into my house and stayed for about 9 months saying she wanted to start a family with me and at first everything was so amazing.

There where a few red flags which I put down to her being a little quirky and decided that they where part of her charming, slightly crazy, personality


I think i can say quite a few have us have experienced a similar scenario her. We almost fall head over heals for that quirky side,it makes us feel alive (watch the film "the garden state",looking back it reminds me a hell of a lot of how and why i fell for my ex.The starting a family thing was quite strange in my case. The first night we got together i went back to her flat before we had even talked of the possibilty of a relationship. She was in a two bedroom property at that point. Her flatmate recently having moved out meant she was on her own there. She took me into  the empty second bedroom ,telling me she wanted to turn it into a nursery for the baby (what the hell was i thinking that night?i had just gone to a girls flat not expecting anything,and there she was

talking about us having a baby together.RED FLAG ALERT

Its a cliche ,but time and distance is a healer. In the end as much as we tried,we couldnt save them,and eventually they end up digging themselves deeper and deeper until they either reach rock bottom and start trying to get better,or they continue down this miserable path,forever bemoaning there lives. Just remember. You did not fail,you did all you could for her,and over time you will find peace with that. Keep on keeping on

[Infared]

I saw my ex (un diagnosed)bp girlfriend last week with another guy.She looked so happy and everything appeared to be so good in her life,while I seem to be going nowhere.I spend so much time trying to work out what happened.She moved into my house and stayed for about 9 months saying she wanted to start a family with me and at first everything was so amazing.

There where a few red flags which I put down to her being a little quirky and decided that they where part of her charming, slightly crazy, personality.We had an argument where she ,astonishingly,accused me of seeing someone else.This shocked me and made me angry.She left me the next day.

Yeah... .sounds like she just made that story up so she could get out to a relationship she was already in. I know that it's painful... I have been through the same, but after 5 years and she did it the week before Christmas. BPD's are very smart, manipulative and excellent liars.

Mine abruptly left and said she needed a "clean break"... .I was shell-shocked and confused, suspecting nothing. It was all so she could be in her new relationship unencumbered by me. Talk about cold-hearted.

[Realgonekid]

Thanks, The hardest thing for me to realise is that none of it was real.

When it was good it was incredible. it seemed like so much fun and happiness.

I guess it's like addiction where the bad times don't seem to really register.

When I saw her I realised just how beautiful she was and regretted what I lost.

It made think that Perhaps I could have tried harder.

I need to be aware of the stark reality that this person would have bled me dry if

I had let her.

Is it better to have loved a borderline and lost?

Or just be alone with no one to love?

[Alex86]

Hey there,

don't be sad... .SHE left you. SHE. You deserve much better.

My ex told me I was her soulmate and thought of me as her husband. The next two days said the relationship

is a dead-end.

You will not manage to live with her. You will go crazy. I was thinking the same, that I could handle her.

In the end the disease won.