Introduction. Separated 3 months ago from a woman with BPD

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi, this is my first thread. I thought I would be a good idea to introduce myself and to share my experience. The second one is for me by the way

Well, I've had this crush on my coworker for about 8 months when she broke off with her boyfriend. After a few weeks, I asked her out and things went pretty well from then, a bit too well if you know what I mean. After two intense months, I've started to realize that    I was kind of compromising the rest of my life to spend time with her. Then, about a month later, she cheated on me with another coworker (also an ex). I knew she was prone to cheating since she told me but I thought that this time she would be able to tell me before hand if she wanted to see someone else because she kept telling how comfortable she felt talking/opening to me. Afterwords, I found out from a mutual friend that she cheated on her last boyfriend with the same coworker just before we start seeing each other.

Anyhow (the message stating to get long), three months later I've started to realize that I am really too gullible and naive to be with someone like her. I think she have really good qualities but also important issues that she isn't facing. I love her but no relationship is sustainable between us right now (probably forever). I recovered from Obsessive-Compulsive

Personality Disorder myself and she was the first relation I had for a while. This made it more difficult to get over it I think.

If you're wondering, yes we are still coworkers which is kind of annoying 

[TheCrow]

Hi, this is my first thread. I thought I would be a good idea to introduce myself and to share my experience. The second one is for me by the way

Well, I've had this crush on my coworker for about 8 months when she broke off with her boyfriend. After a few weeks, I asked her out and things went pretty well from then, a bit too well if you know what I mean. After two intense months, I've started to realize that    I was kind of compromising the rest of my life to spend time with her. Then, about a month later, she cheated on me with another coworker (also an ex). I knew she was prone to cheating since she told me but I thought that this time she would be able to tell me before hand if she wanted to see someone else because she kept telling how comfortable she felt talking/opening to me. Afterwords, I found out from a mutual friend that she cheated on her last boyfriend with the same coworker just before we start seeing each other.

Anyhow (the message stating to get long), three months later I've started to realize that I am really too gullible and naive to be with someone like her. I think she have really good qualities but also important issues that she isn't facing. I love her but no relationship is sustainable between us right now (probably forever). I recovered from Obsessive-Compulsive

Personality Disorder myself and she was the first relation I had for a while. This made it more difficult to get over it I think.

If you're wondering, yes we are still coworkers which is kind of annoying 

[Targeted]

I would be willing to bet that you dated my ex.  You pretty much just wrote my story, whole thing about co-workers everything down to a T.  Did she give you the line about how she never dates coworkers to?   

[TheCrow]

I would be willing to bet that you dated my ex.  You pretty much just wrote my story, whole thing about co-workers everything down to a T.  Did she give you the line about how she never dates coworkers to?   

Well she couldn't because I knew she had. When did you're ex tell you she never dates coworkers? Do you see her often?

I'm lucky on that side because we work on different floors so we don't see each other that often. It is more awkward during the work related social events or conferences. I thought things were now getting smoother but It seems she is still mad at me. How does it affects your work and working relation?

[Waifed]

Crow

I would recommend getting out now before you get too hooked on her and she becomes an addiction. If she is BPD then she will likely never change her habits or address her issues. We all deserve to be with someone who is faithful, empathetic and meets our needs. Actions speak louder than words and she is showing you what your future with her would be like. I'm sure that is not what you are hoping for.

[Targeted]

I totally agree with Waifed,

I would just become indifferent and let it go,  without a serious commitment to therapy by her nobody will succeed in a relationship long-term, trying again  " recycling " is not a good idea because of the nature of the disorder where their feelings are magnified, The Love and amazing sex Will be amazing and magnified but it will be shorter lived, then the hatred, insults, devaluing of you, cheating, and any other negative attributes you found in the relationship will also be magnified, me and my ex do not work together but her co-workers were always a problem in the relationship. By me saying that you probably dated my ex what is just kind of saying how common and typical visitors of them.  And at this point I do not want to be with in 100 miles of my ex if I can help it, it just keeps getting worse!

[TheCrow]

I totally agree with Waifed,

I would just become indifferent and let it go,  without a serious commitment to therapy by her nobody will succeed in a relationship long-term, trying again  " recycling " is not a good idea because of the nature of the disorder where their feelings are magnified, The Love and amazing sex Will be amazing and magnified but it will be shorter lived, then the hatred, insults, devaluing of you, cheating, and any other negative attributes you found in the relationship will also be magnified, me and my ex do not work together but her co-workers were always a problem in the relationship. By me saying that you probably dated my ex what is just kind of saying how common and typical visitors of them.  And at this point I do not want to be with in 100 miles of my ex if I can help it, it just keeps getting worse!

Sorry for my misunderstanding. I agree with you that no long-term relationships is possible. I think "recycling" wouldn't be healthy and just cause more damage on both of us.

Most of the time I don't want an "in" Waifed so I think things are getting better. Like any addiction, it is healthy in the long run. I try to apply the No Contact rule but it's hard since we work at the same place. I'm wondering if anyone had a similar situation?