When the heart catches up with your head

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

After 5 month tomorrow B/U , 5 years RS

Looks to me that my brain finally caught up with my heart , I hope so , I am not longing her anymore , I haven't listen to the NC thing through out the brake up I kept fighting... .The disease won at last .

I have been 10 days in NC could that be why I am feeling this way ?

[guy4caligirl]

After 5 month tomorrow B/U , 5 years RS

Looks to me that my brain finally caught up with my heart , I hope so , I am not longing her anymore , I haven't listen to the NC thing through out the brake up I kept fighting... .The disease won at last .

I have been 10 days in NC could that be why I am feeling this way ?

[Targeted]

Same here, 12 days NC and I have moments of longing for her but they get shorter and shorter each day.

[Mutt]

After 5 month tomorrow B/U , 5 years RS

I haven't listen to the NC thing through out the brake up I kept fighting... .The disease won at last .

I can relate. I was very angry after the affair came out. I was invalidated and in a lot of pain. I fought for a period. NC feels like going cold turkey. It does get better.

[Deeno02]

It does get better, but have a little longing for her, but Im not getting caught up with her ___ any longer. Shes moved on and is so "happy", time for me to do so as well. Fu*k her... .

[downwhim]

   Put tree up. Found his sock. F... .k him too. He is probably putting up her tree for her. 8 years wasted. Can't wait until 5 months out and I have no longing... .must be nice.

[willtimeheal]

I am three months out. Two and a half months NC. It does get better. But you will have a bad day here and there. At least I do. When those bad days happen I look at how much better my life is now. How I am free to do the things I enjoy without walking on eggshells or being raged at. I get lonely and miss her but realize I never want to live like that again. Under constant stress and never knowing what the mood will be. Being lied to and cheated on. So when the bad days happen work through them and remind yourself how much better and enjoyable your life is without the chaos and stress. It helps pull you through the tough days.

[myself]

My head had to catch up with/accept what my heart was going through, too.

[downwhim]

Thanks, Willtimeheal, you are a little ahead of me and I appreciate your input. Just got triggered then took my son out for a nice Italian dinner. I need to savor this time with him.

[fromheeltoheal]

I don't know if it was my heart catching up to my head or the other way around, and my gut was always in the race too.  Doesn't matter really, as long as they all end up in the same place, meaning I'm in tune with myself.

What stopping communicating with her and removing her from my life did was complete the disconnect between the real her and the fantasy her in my head, which made the contrast more extreme, plus the fantasy her was still with me.  The process of detaching from an internal fantasy proved to be the most work, I didn't miss the real her at all, and the insights that come out of that, by asking things like why did I get so completely addicted to a fantasy to begin with, is where all the growth is, and ultimately the gift of the relationship.  Something to look forward to?

[ziniztar]

My head had to catch up with/accept what my heart was going through, too.

Good one