my husband has BPD and ptsd

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello, I am looking for info and support in dealing with my husband who has BPD and ptsd. I see a therapist regularly and he does occasionally. The ups and downs are exhausting. I need to remain stable and not take things personally while still supporting him. We love each other so much. Any tools would be greatly appreciated,  thank you!

[doglover6787]

Hello, I am looking for info and support in dealing with my husband who has BPD and ptsd. I see a therapist regularly and he does occasionally. The ups and downs are exhausting. I need to remain stable and not take things personally while still supporting him. We love each other so much. Any tools would be greatly appreciated,  thank you!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Doglover, 

Welcome aboard! You have come to a great place for support and information. 

The ups and downs of a pwBPD can be really frustrating.   It is really hard to not take some of the things a pwBPD says personally. What kinds of things are you having trouble depersonalizing?

Learning about BPD can really help with that.  Also, taking care of yourself first is another way to help depersonalizing the behavior.  Seeing a therapist is a great start.

Here is an article to help get you started.  The Do's and Don'ts for a BP relationship  Also, there are lessons provided on the right side of the page, that really do help.

Posting and sharing your story really does help. 

[Grey Kitty]

Hello and welcome, doglover!

You say you need to remain stable and not take things personally. I agree that that helps.

Another thing which helps is giving yourself permission to not listen to critical/abusive/difficult/whatever stuff... .you know, the stuff that you TRY not to take personally, but sometimes it gets to you.

Can you give us a specific example like that? We can help show you how to apply tools to protect yourself in a similar situation.

 GK