relationship help

[bora]

Hi

I am in a relationship for the last 10 years. Every time we have an argument or a discussion we always end up with him kicking me out. He says that only he gets hurt. Will not accept responsibility for me being hurt.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[maxsterling]

hi bora, 

Wow, that's frustrating  :'(  I'm sure you want to resolve whatever disagreements you have through mutual understanding and compromise, but it sounds like he just wants to shut down and be done with everything!  It certainly sounds like typical BPD behavior - has he been diagnosed BPD, or do you just suspect it?

I urge you to check out the links on the right side of the page about not making things worse.  They are valuable lessons that explain how when we get defensive to their intense emotions, it only makes things worse.  You can't fix him, but you can do things to help you not be as hurt by his words and actions and regain some control back in your life.

Take care

[formflier]

 

Bora,



I'll join Max in welcoming you.  Please come back soon and give us more detail on some of the arguments.

One thing you may hear... ."Before you can make it better... you have to stop making it worse... "

We can usually help quickly identify some things that are "making it worse"... .

I'm glad you found us.  We can help  !n