Wanting to break free from a BPD mother and finding it impossible

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am over 30 and have a family. My mother has BPD and I have tried EVERYTHING to have a functioning relationship with her but it has been impossible. I am at a point where I do not want her in my life but she indirectly interferes and makes it impossible. I am done with feeling guilty but I don-t know how to deal with other people who do not understand the relationship, like my husband, brothers, in laws... .

[woundaughter]

I am over 30 and have a family. My mother has BPD and I have tried EVERYTHING to have a functioning relationship with her but it has been impossible. I am at a point where I do not want her in my life but she indirectly interferes and makes it impossible. I am done with feeling guilty but I don-t know how to deal with other people who do not understand the relationship, like my husband, brothers, in laws... .

[Ziggiddy]

Hi woundaughter

I am sorry to hear of your distress. It's completely understandable that you have reached a stage where you want things to change. you are entitled to have r/ships on your own terms and people who don't respect your wishes or boundaries are not people you need to let invade them. I applaud you for your efforts to make things better for yourself.

You mention your mother interferes indirectly - could you explain that a little more? Do you mean through other people?

As far as dealing with others who do not understand your  r/ship with her, can you be more specific? The more you define your goals the easier it will be to work out how to achieve them and the better able we will be to tailor material most appropriate to your decisions.

Ziggiddy