Is poor mental health contagious?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hello all 

Hope this is an alright area to place this.

I was pondering this concept, have been for a while now, that, in a sense, can we 'catch' poor mental health?

For example, many of us here would have considered ourselves mentally healthy or stable people before our relationships or run in's with BPD. Sure we would have some flaws or issues, perhaps making us more vulnerable, but generally speaking we lived relatively happy, normal lives. The exposure to a pwBPD has left many of us lost, depressed, anxious, paranoid, with post-traumatic stress and in one way or another we'll never be quite the same again.

I for one have been acting out a LOT over the past year in ways I never knew I was capable of. I have a much shorter temper, bad paranoia, waves of very intense negative emotions, high defense and am all around a lot less emotionally available than I was before. I am working on it but it is hard to kick and feels very foreign.

Similarly, it has been discussed before that BPD is a learned behaviour, induced via trauma and exposure to intense negative actions as a child. I'm sure we can all agree anyone who induces purposeful trauma on a young child must have a degree of mental health problems.

So an abuser abuses another person, gives them trauma, stress, anxiety and creates a negative impact on their mental health. This person goes on to abuse others, whether as a channel for pain or stress, to protect themselves or because they have learned that the abuse is 'acceptable/normal'. They impact on another's mental health in a bad way and the cycle continues on and on.

Has poor mental health got the hallmarks of a contagious disease? With this in mind should it be taken more seriously?

[Springle]

Hello all 

Hope this is an alright area to place this.

I was pondering this concept, have been for a while now, that, in a sense, can we 'catch' poor mental health?

For example, many of us here would have considered ourselves mentally healthy or stable people before our relationships or run in's with BPD. Sure we would have some flaws or issues, perhaps making us more vulnerable, but generally speaking we lived relatively happy, normal lives. The exposure to a pwBPD has left many of us lost, depressed, anxious, paranoid, with post-traumatic stress and in one way or another we'll never be quite the same again.

I for one have been acting out a LOT over the past year in ways I never knew I was capable of. I have a much shorter temper, bad paranoia, waves of very intense negative emotions, high defense and am all around a lot less emotionally available than I was before. I am working on it but it is hard to kick and feels very foreign.

Similarly, it has been discussed before that BPD is a learned behaviour, induced via trauma and exposure to intense negative actions as a child. I'm sure we can all agree anyone who induces purposeful trauma on a young child must have a degree of mental health problems.

So an abuser abuses another person, gives them trauma, stress, anxiety and creates a negative impact on their mental health. This person goes on to abuse others, whether as a channel for pain or stress, to protect themselves or because they have learned that the abuse is 'acceptable/normal'. They impact on another's mental health in a bad way and the cycle continues on and on.

Has poor mental health got the hallmarks of a contagious disease? With this in mind should it be taken more seriously?

[jammo1989]

Hello all 

Hope this is an alright area to place this.

I was pondering this concept, have been for a while now, that, in a sense, can we 'catch' poor mental health?

For example, many of us here would have considered ourselves mentally healthy or stable people before our relationships or run in's with BPD. Sure we would have some flaws or issues, perhaps making us more vulnerable, but generally speaking we lived relatively happy, normal lives. The exposure to a pwBPD has left many of us lost, depressed, anxious, paranoid, with post-traumatic stress and in one way or another we'll never be quite the same again.

I for one have been acting out a LOT over the past year in ways I never knew I was capable of. I have a much shorter temper, bad paranoia, waves of very intense negative emotions, high defense and am all around a lot less emotionally available than I was before. I am working on it but it is hard to kick and feels very foreign.

Similarly, it has been discussed before that BPD is a learned behaviour, induced via trauma and exposure to intense negative actions as a child. I'm sure we can all agree anyone who induces purposeful trauma on a young child must have a degree of mental health problems.

So an abuser abuses another person, gives them trauma, stress, anxiety and creates a negative impact on their mental health. This person goes on to abuse others, whether as a channel for pain or stress, to protect themselves or because they have learned that the abuse is 'acceptable/normal'. They impact on another's mental health in a bad way and the cycle continues on and on.

Has poor mental health got the hallmarks of a contagious disease? With this in mind should it be taken more seriously?

Hey Springle, personally I think that, poor mental health is either genetic based or brought to surface after a severe trauma.  Is it contagious? I personally think not, the problem lyes in how we deal and set boundaries, think about it like this, we made a connection with these kinds of people because at that point in our life we felt as if we were missing something within ourselves.  For example, James Bond would have finished the girl after the 1st red flag.  We as people need to justify why we feel the way we did it still do, so as far as is poor mental health contagious, I don't believe so.  We all suffer from depression and mild anxiety in our life time even after a normal break up, but as far as developing or experiencing the same poor mental health as an ex cluster B, no I don't believe so.  They suffered their traumas while their brain was still developing, so as a young adult male I do think poor mental health on our terms shouldn't arise or be seen as contagious in that sense. 

[EaglesJuju]

There are different theories about the etiology of BPD.  A majority of theories factor in genetics and environment. Trauma/abuse can be a risk factor for BPD but, it does not predispose someone for a mental illness. Also, one can develop BPD without having a history of trauma/abuse. 

I believe that maladaptive behaviors can be learned. From my experience, I started picking up on some of my bf's BPD traits. It is like catching  .   

[Turkish]

Many here in relationships can pick up BPD traits,.but yes, with work they can be unlearned. I picked up traits from my BPD mom, most of which I've gotten past over the years (though apparently not enough to not end up with an uBPD partner, doh!).

In general, can't it be summed up in the aphorism, "lie down with dogs,.wake up with   ?"

I'm not pickng on pwBPD, specifically, but whom you hang out with influences you, healthy or unhealthy.

[Inside]

So, were we driven crazy... ?  Is there any validity to that phrase?  I know that during my BPD exposure with an uBPgf, caring for her endless delmas strained and drained me to the point of near dysfunction.  A conservative guy, as in making sound decisions in which I’d never over-extend myself, during those BPDays I felt as though I’d been driven nuts

Once, I’d left her bed to walk the streets of town before dawn ... .past where I worked, spent time in a McDonalds, then a Walmart, finally setting outside it watching people arrive as the sunrose…  Hardly had time or patients for my own daughters.  If it didn’t ‘rub off’ on me, it sure ... screwed me up…

I experienced a level of tramah that I do fear experiencing again ... .definitely a kinda PTSD situation.  What’s bothered me further is the way things like ‘her’ political, spiritual, musical or esthetic views now grate on me…  It’s like I’m sensitised in a negative way to about anything I even shared liking with her   

My conclusion is: her problem is hardwired, thus permanent; mine is a software problem that needs to be overwritten ... .thus hopefully not permanent.

[SlyQQ]

Insanity is hereditry you get it from your kids but seriously BPD does seem to bring on depression in there family members an spark suicide in many of there partners obviously there is a cause effect relationship weather there is a seed to water i think everyone has those

[Turkish]

Insanity is hereditry you get it from your kids

but seriously BPD does seem to bring on depression

in there family members an spark suicide in many of there partners

obviously there is a cause effect relationship weather there

is a seed to water i think everyone has those

Christmas 2011, my Ex stormed out of her parents' house. Her mom literally threw up her hands in disgust. A while later, I got an angry text, "BRING OUR SON HOME."

S4 was S1 at the time. We returned and I found her in despair curled up on the bathroom floor. I found an almost suicidal note on our computer. It accused me of being invalidating, in between the lines. Some truth to that. We got through it, even though that Christmas was ruined.

[Infern0]

I know of the concept of malignant narcissism I . e you can catch being a narcissist.

I don't think you can catch BPD though.

However being in a BPD relationship means being pathologically tortured mentally, gaslit,  abused etc etc etc.

My BPD certainly had a very negative affect on my mental health to the point that I think I did lose it,  temporarily.

I also had a nervous breakdown and quite severe depression. The guy before me is now a drug addict,  and the replacement isn't faring too good either.

The good news is no contact will heal what ails you.

[enlighten me]

Hi springle

I get where your coming from. What I think your dealing with is a bit different.

Bear with me as it might seem to be off topic.

we have a primitave coping mechanism for danger. When stone age man would eat something that made them ill they would develop an aversion to it so if they even tasted it tgere would be a reaction and it would make them be sick. This is still in place. I personally cannot eat vegetables as I was force fed them at school and it made me be sick. I have friends who cannot touch milk as they were forced to drink milk and had the same reaction.  Like you I have been different since my BPD relationship. I believe this is to do with this danger warning mechanism. I cannot tollerate selfishness. I notice strange behaviour in others. I get very irrate at injustice. I believe it is all to do with my subconscience warning me.

we have been through something that I personally believe is one of the most stressful things you can go through. It is a prolonged situation that has to do with our deepest emitional feelings. Even in war you get down time where you can unwind but not with a BPD relationship.

Not only are you dealing with the primitave protection mechanism you also have your own shame. The shame of being conned. The shame of how you may have treated other. Add to this the possibility of PTSD .

We also mirror. We are pack animals and take on the characteristics of the group so it is hardly suprising that we may pick up some of their behaviiur.