So during the holidays this week my uBPDw is almost eerily calm and well regulated. Kind of spooky, especially when reading some of the difficulties others are having this time of year.
That is not to say things are normal, however. Tonight she mentioned something about her activities for the coming week and I told her that we are having a special support group meeting on Tuesday, because the two Thursday holidays would leave people without support for three weeks otherwise. I said, "We have some people in the group who really don't need that long a break without a meeting."
Whereupon she informed me that
I was one of those people, and furthermore I should probably talk to my T about seeing him more often as well. It seems she still feels as though she has to walk on eggshells, as I could "blow up" at any time.
I haven't even raised my voice since Thanksgiving weekend, when we finally settled the issue with the farm. My blood pressure was 108 over 60 a couple of days ago
What I'm sensing is that since I have begun to settle in to how to not respond to her "stuff", she is becoming uneasy about the new dynamic in our r/s.
She probably
does feel like she's walking on eggshells, because none of her usual jabs, insinuations, and sarcastic comments are generating any reaction and she can't figure out why.
When the comments about the T failed to rouse me, she moved on to how I never seemed to get things done around here, and she didn't know if it was age, or what. I allowed as how it might be age, although the truth is I have simply stopped jumping whenever she issues a new set of general orders. I am getting things done, but right now I come first. In our part of the country it's a sopping mess outside and there will be plenty of time closer to spring to spruce things up around here. She kept making comments about how she was probably going to have to figure out how to "do more" around here along with "all the other stuff she is doing now."
I could write a book about what she is(n't) doing vs what I do, but everyone on here knows how that song goes already. The only one I responded to was to reassure her that I was not going to expect her to do all the yard mowing. (I like mowing). The rest of it I left unanswered, as opposed to my old way of responding to or refuting every comment. If she wants to think my silence means I agree, that she's going to have to step it up around here, let her think it. Or not; I don't care.
All in all, it was quite an entertaining little show, watching her project her tendency to blow up without warning and her lack of help around the house on to me. It was better than most of the reality TV that's on these days. (But then, watching paint dry is better than reality TV.)
I want to make clear that my heart goes out to all the folks who have posted such terrible situations they are dealing with right now. I want you to know that just because I am choosing to find humor in the strangeness of my own situation, I am in no way making light of anyone else's difficulties.
Believe me, I have had my share as well, and they go back a long ways before I found this website.
But I have always found humor, and especially slightly twisted humor, to be helpful in dealing with my own issues, and the more I learn to laugh through the tears the easier things get for me. I hope everyone understands.
BTW, this is me "blowing up" without warning --->
Happy Holidays!
