My ex has bought a house in the next street 4 1/2 years after split.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I used to be a member of this site 4 plus years ago after me and my ex gf split. It was awful how I felt when we split in the usual dramatic way BPD relationship split with her becoming violent towards me, raging out of control and irrational dangerous behavior. I am fully recovered and feel emotionally stronger then ever. I didn't even think about her anymore to be honest. When we split she moved back to Australia and I am from the uk. So never though we would randomly bump into my ex unless I went to Australia. I have dated a bit but not met anyone long term. But all great women & I have definitely improved my selection process. Ha.

I walked down the end of my road and there she was starring at me. I was in a state of shock as I never thought I'd see her again. I've unblocked her fb and done a bit of googling and sure enough she moved to the next road 6 weeks ago. My question is does this seem like a co incidence or do you think she has done this on purpose? I know she has relatives in the uk. Just seems strange after NC for 4 years.

[tigerville]

I used to be a member of this site 4 plus years ago after me and my ex gf split. It was awful how I felt when we split in the usual dramatic way BPD relationship split with her becoming violent towards me, raging out of control and irrational dangerous behavior. I am fully recovered and feel emotionally stronger then ever. I didn't even think about her anymore to be honest. When we split she moved back to Australia and I am from the uk. So never though we would randomly bump into my ex unless I went to Australia. I have dated a bit but not met anyone long term. But all great women & I have definitely improved my selection process. Ha.

I walked down the end of my road and there she was starring at me. I was in a state of shock as I never thought I'd see her again. I've unblocked her fb and done a bit of googling and sure enough she moved to the next road 6 weeks ago. My question is does this seem like a co incidence or do you think she has done this on purpose? I know she has relatives in the uk. Just seems strange after NC for 4 years.

[Tim300]

Wow.  That is a bit frightening.  Roughly how old is she?  Is there any reason why she would have chosen this spot?  For example, because of familiarity with the neighborhood or proximity to somewhere she needs to be.

[tigerville]

That's the weird thing. When we was together she would always say how I'd made her move from the other side of the world to live in such a dump. Plus all her friends and relatives live on the other side of London. I'm hoping it is a co incidence as I've moved on. I really don't want anymore drama. Just seems weird.

[Tim300]

Good luck.  I would not assume that it's just a coincidence.  I would keep your barricades high (e.g., social media blocking).  I wouldn't be too paranoid though.  I think BPDs like to passively monitor exes even after many years have passed (I've seen that).  It seems like their unhinged anger tends to dissipate for a particular person once time has passed. 

[Infared]

Tigerville... .when you saw her, there was no interaction between you? No talking or acknowledgement of each other like waving or anything?

I would definitely be very aware of your surroundings and I would also be prepared for any "accidental" run-ins.

Mine has attempted to do this years later when I could see that they were planned events. I believe after what I was through that for my own well-being that I must maintain absolute NC... .so I thwarted these attempts to contact me.  It took quick thinking and action in a moments notice.  I feel if someone is going through a lot of effort to create an accidental run-in that they are still mentally ill and very manipulative... .and that I need to stay away from them.  I went through enough pain, I do not need to open the door for more... .not even a crack.

Hopefully your situation was just a co-incidence... .but it sounds questionable... .no?

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

The fact she has relatives here however suggests it would be more coincidence IMHO.  Chilling stuff though.  Keep the shutters closed.

[tigerville]

I work in a gym as a personal trainer and it's about 20 miles from my home. I've just seen she has bought a membership at my gym over the weekend. Thats not a coincidence. Now I'm worried. I have also been sent a message from yahoo saying someone is trying to hack my account. Before she left 4 years ago she hacked my account. I'm not a hundred percent sure it's her but it has her mark.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Change all the passwords in all your accounts.

[tigerville]

I have and blocked everything.

[Infared]

I work in a gym as a personal trainer and it's about 20 miles from my home. I've just seen she has bought a membership at my gym over the weekend. Thats not a coincidence. Now I'm worried. I have also been sent a message from yahoo saying someone is trying to hack my account. Before she left 4 years ago she hacked my account. I'm not a hundred percent sure it's her but it has her mark.

We are 100% sure that it is her.    Just protect yourself and know that you owe her nothing.