He's a mess and so am I

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It's been over a month since me and my partner broke up. We had no contact for about 4 weeks until Christmas, and now I've heard from him everyday since then. Before he contacted me I was sad, but just so angry with him that I didn't even want to talk to him. But, now that I'm hearing from him it makes me more anxious and miss him more. I try not to answer or be nice or lengthy, but I always eventually respond with at least a brief text. In the past four days he's gotten two large tattoos, dyed his hair, and got a pet snake. I know he's doing all of these things because he's not doing well without me and he's trying to distract himself. And he's not even texting me anything personal or saying he misses me. I know he just doesn't want me to forget about him. I know it's about control. But, it just makes me so sad. I wish it didn't though. I wish I was still mad for all the abuse he put me through. My head is, but I can feel my heart softening. Help! Remind me why I shouldn't miss him!

[BreakingUpWithBPD]

It's been over a month since me and my partner broke up. We had no contact for about 4 weeks until Christmas, and now I've heard from him everyday since then. Before he contacted me I was sad, but just so angry with him that I didn't even want to talk to him. But, now that I'm hearing from him it makes me more anxious and miss him more. I try not to answer or be nice or lengthy, but I always eventually respond with at least a brief text. In the past four days he's gotten two large tattoos, dyed his hair, and got a pet snake. I know he's doing all of these things because he's not doing well without me and he's trying to distract himself. And he's not even texting me anything personal or saying he misses me. I know he just doesn't want me to forget about him. I know it's about control. But, it just makes me so sad. I wish it didn't though. I wish I was still mad for all the abuse he put me through. My head is, but I can feel my heart softening. Help! Remind me why I shouldn't miss him!

[neverloveagain]

He is changing his tune, dont dance to it. We all want with our BPDex what we ourselfs cant. Take the power back and reach inwards save yourself. He is no good for you as you are not for him pd aside. Make good choices and free your mind.

[fromheeltoheal]

Remind me why I shouldn't miss him!

Better to remind yourself; make a list of all the unacceptable crap he pulled, and add to it as you remember things, and read it as much as you need to.  It's a way to have your head overpower your heart for the time being, since we are conflicted coming out of these relationships.  Also, send a text that says "Please do not contact me again", if that's what you want, and then eliminate any way of him contacting you.  It takes extra effort at this point, and your resolve will be tested, but intentionally move towards what you want.

What's the first thing on your list?