I just get crazy

[jo19854]

Hi all, My profile discribes the situation. My wife suddenly abandoned me almost a year ago, never heard of her ever. Moved across the ocean. I just don't know how to deal with it. I don't even know if its borderline, she mentioned PTSS. I didn't see it coming at all. how can i deal with this pain, I never got a reason, never got answers or a cause. We are married 3 years soon and she leaves everything up to me. I feel as I am going crazy. I cant stop loving her.

[JRT]

I am really sorry to hear about this... .I cannot imagine the immense level of pain and confusion that you are experiencing... .

Understanding what happened definitely helps... .there are many resources here on this site including the message boards... .I don't know what I would have done with out them... .everybody here has had trauma like you and are working through dealing with it as best as they can... .it WILL feel better I can promise you that... .

My fiance did something similar to your wife; all of a sudden, she moved out of my house after having lived here for only three weeks but being together for two years. Thee was no warning nor did anything occur that would have prompted this; we never argued or disagreed, it was completely out of the blue. I am not sure where she lives and she has blocked me from contacting her. It has been 3.5 months and I have not heard anything from her; so I have been left to my own devices to figure it out.

While I am 98% sure that mine was was BPD given what I know about her childhood and such, I cannot be certain of yours. What she did DOES sound very BPD but you will need to dig around here to find out what some of the characteristics are and see if they correspond to your situation. There is a list somewhere of the various attributes of a BPD. A certain number that correspond qualify her as a BPD. If you cannot find it here, let me know and I will try to track it down for you.

How long ago was it that this happened? I REALLY know how you feel and I realize that hearing from her might help you. That may or may not happen but the important thing is that you remain strong and that you utilize whatever resources that you need in order to empower yourself with information. The boards have REALLY helped me. Regardless: I want you to know that what she did is NOT normal relationship behavior (unless you were violent or gave her cause to genuinely fear for her safety). Normal people do not do things like this so you need to know that whatever happened, its NOT you!

[jo19854]

My wife left almost a year ago, leaving everything behind.

We never had a quarrel or a fight. I was good for her.

It took us many years to be able to have a life together. I don't know if you was able to read my profile.

It's just to sweet memories. A year before she left the chemo treatment started and we had a weekend in Belgium. we danced all evening. Then that treatment and shes gone when its finished. I just don't understand.

I am trying to deal with the fact that I wont ever see and hear from her again. It's like coming home and some commits suicide. I have the same questions about why, my part. But she is alive and ignores me after all i did for her and her kids. No remorse, no nothing.

Thanks for your support. I read a lot about Borderline on this website. I see certain elements for sure. But the trouble we had to manage to be together is more than a borderliner would accept. The stage was set and she leaves. And me, my family and the dog mean nothing obviously.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, thanks for your support.

[JRT]

have you heard from her at all?