Probably Need Even Stricter Boundaries with BPDex

[mrwigand]

Hey, my name is Alex. I just broke up with my BPD SO of 5 months. Her name is M. We actually ended things on very amicable terms, and we both agreed we wanted to be friends, but we agreed that would only work if there were certain boundaries. Namely, no physical contact for a while. M. is about to go to court for something stupid her abusive ex dragged her into, so I told her I would be there for her to the extent that I could.

After today, I'm wondering if we need even more separation and lack of contact. Had a conversation today, and she told me she experienced some weirdness last night where one of her male friends put some moves on her. I had to tell her that these weren't the kinds of things we should talk about until we had more distance from the relationship. She apologized and said she agreed, and I'm not upset. It just makes me wonder if I can thread this limited contact needle. Yikes!

[Maternus]

Let me get this right: You think/know, she is BPD, but you believe her stories about an abusive ex?

[fromheeltoheal]

Best to decide what you really want and need and if she can meet those long-term, and act accordingly.  If you broke up, why do you want to remain friends?  People do that all the time, just get clear on your real motives.

[ChadP]

Let me get this right: You think/know, she is BPD, but you believe her stories about an abusive ex?

That's my question. Chances are it's all bs. My ex was also abused by her ex. Of course she's now back with him, and when I asked her about the abuse she said he wasn't abusive. I'm currently in a stage that everything out of her mouth now is funny.