distinguishing BPD traits from just "normal behaviours"

[Depression = 72% of members]

One thing that really threw me in the relationship was that my uBPDh SOMETIMES acted like or said something like he knew he needed to grow up about something. And when I was pushing him harder with my boundaries (it was "pushing" to him anyway for me to not accept his mean and angry treatment of me) he'd have these occasional moments of insight that he'd share. Those things kept me hooked in and hoping for change. But in the ratio part of life where the number of promising words are put up against the number of actual changes, well... .actions came out at 0%.

I guess I held on way too long "hoping" he would decide to grow up, when he was the only one who could make that happen.

Whatever the reason our partner chooses not to be a grown up whether a PD or not doesn't matter as much as our own boundaries in the relationship, and mine were awful!

And our forgiving them is for us too so they don't have too much hold on our brains.

[Elpis]

One thing that really threw me in the relationship was that my uBPDh SOMETIMES acted like or said something like he knew he needed to grow up about something. And when I was pushing him harder with my boundaries (it was "pushing" to him anyway for me to not accept his mean and angry treatment of me) he'd have these occasional moments of insight that he'd share. Those things kept me hooked in and hoping for change. But in the ratio part of life where the number of promising words are put up against the number of actual changes, well... .actions came out at 0%.

I guess I held on way too long "hoping" he would decide to grow up, when he was the only one who could make that happen.

Whatever the reason our partner chooses not to be a grown up whether a PD or not doesn't matter as much as our own boundaries in the relationship, and mine were awful!

And our forgiving them is for us too so they don't have too much hold on our brains.