It's A BPD Thanksgiving Charlie Brown - Just venting

[Panda39]

My SO uBPDxw has successfully ruined Thanksgiving for her family out of state, my SO and me (to a lesser extent), and worst of all her daughters. 

Every year the ex "plans" on seeing her family out of state... .she never has the money... .it never happens... .every year gets the hopes up of her children and lets them down... .every year the same drama.

This year the "plan" became the "plans" then became the "failure".

Plan#1 D18 away at college would fly to Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.   

                     UBPDmom and sister 14 would meet her there on Tuesday. D18 would then leave the day after   

                     Thanksgiving to visit dad and friends before returning to college (D18 has an actual round trip plane

                     ticket) UBPDmom and D14 to return Sunday following Thanksgiving (not sure if there is a ticket back)

Plan#2 D18 away at college flies to Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.  Is at

                     Grandpa's when uBPDmom and sister 14 are a "no show".  Why? uBPDmom's lap dog (with the

                     apparent strength of a sled dog team) pulled her down a hill near where she lives in a hotel with no

                     hills and hurts her knee so instead of the airport uBPDmom and D14 are at the emergency room.

                     UDBPmom and D14 will leave Wednesday instead (not sure if there is an actual plane ticket). Family

                     member has to change plans to pick them up. D18 to leave the day after Thanksgiving to visit dad and

                     friends before returning to college. (D18 has an actual round trip plane ticket).  UBPDmom and D14 to

                     return Sunday following Thanksgiving (not sure if there is a ticket back).

Plan#3 D18 away at college flies to Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.  Is at 

                     Grandpa's when uBPDmom and sister 14 are a "no show" for a second time. Why? Friend that was to

                     drive them to the airport was late so they missed their flight.  Grandpa tells uBPDdaughter to just not             

                     come (he's had enough).  D14 calls her dad in tears.  UPBDmom who doesn't listen to anyone else and

                     D14 will leave 6:30am Thanksgiving morning (not sure if there are actual tickets) . D18 stuck at

                     Grandpa's is embarrassed and uncomfortable.   D18 to leave the day after Thanksgiving to visit dad

                     and friends before returning to college. (D18 has an actual round trip plane ticket).  UBPDmom and 

                     D14 to return Sunday following Thanksgiving (not sure if there is a ticket back).

Plan#4 Thanksgiving Day

                     D18 away at college flies to Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.  Is at 

                     Grandpa's when uBPDmom and sister 14 are a "no show" for a third time. Why? UBPDmom and D14 at

                     the Emergency Room again for the supposed injured knee? Nope, this time it's a possible heart

                     condition  . D14 exhausted and furious up since 4am with mom and flight out of town (if there ever was

                     one) missed. D14 on phone with dad.  D18 at Grandpa's mortified and furious also on the phone with

                     dad in tears. UBPDmom released from hospital.  She and D14 have "Thanksgiving" dinner from the

                     grocery store deli in the hotel where she lives (history-evicted 3 times) D18 to leave the day after

                     Thanksgiving to visit dad and friends before returning to college. (D18 has an actual round trip plane

                     ticket).

It's a BPD Thanksgiving Charlie Brown... .I hate this freaking stuff!

All dad and I could do is listen, validate and support both girls from a far.  This was all about their mother's anxiety at seeing her own family so everyone had to suffer!  barfy barfy barfy When she can't handle something she runs to the hospital every time.

D18 thankfully to arrive today and stay with dad.  D14 heading home to dad's house too.  Hopefully they will have a nice relaxing time together for the next couple of days.

[funfunctional]

Hi Panda,

That is difficult.   I have a blended family and although my husband's x wife is not BPD she is certainly a trip.  All you CAN do is listen.    It really is all about them isn't it?   Drama and more drama.   

Make us wish the holidays away and that is too bad.  Holidays stir up a lot of emotions.   

Sorry you had a tough time but good for you for seeing it for what it is.

[Panda39]

Hi Funfunctional

Both girls told their mother that they are not doing that again.  A united front which I think is a very good strategy for them.

The good news is that Christmas is with dad and should be peaceful although uBPDxw keeps saying she will be having knee replacement surgery (might be real/might not be who knows) and I'm sure that will be during the most inconvenient time for everyone! 

Ahhhhhhhhh the life with a BPD person in it... .never a dull moment