BPDx very likely lying about latest child's paternity

[clydegriffith]

I don't go to therapy anymore so i use BPD Family to kind of let things out but im not entirely sure why i'm sharing this but i will anyway because its weighing on me heavily this morning. 

BPD had latest child (#5) about a year ago. I saw this kid for the first time when i met up with the BPDx to exchange my daughter for the weekend a while back and the kid looks exactly like one of the guys she was screwing way back when not the person who she's saying it is and who she suckered in to moving in with her, babysitting for her and helping out with bills.

The BPDx approached me in a rather hostile manner recently and i let her know of my suspicion. Her reaction pretty much gave it away. Not sure exactly what to do if anything at all. If this turns out to be true, as highly suspect, i can let the cat out of the bag and the sham of a life she's made for herself will be destroyed. This will open the door for me to be able to get custody of my daughter since once again she will find herself ina  less than favorable position in life due to her own reckless actions. On the other hand, i can do nothing and just let things play themselves out. 

[billypilgrim]

I won't speak to what you should/shouldn't do as far as your situation goes.  I guess I would just offer that you should do what you think is best for you and yours.

I will offer this.  When I first started dating my exBPD, she told me about her abortion.  What I had the most trouble about with this was that she got the paternity wrong, knew that she was wrong, yet still held the guy that she was dating at the time responsible rather than the actual father.  He supposedly had cheated on her so she went out and cheated on him.  Apparently that resulted in her getting pregnant but she always blamed the guy she was dating.  I guess because she felt like he made her cheat by cheating?  She said that once or twice when trying to defend herself for cheating.  Sound logic, that.   

But it was only until she went in for the procedure that she realized by doing some backwards math who the dad actually was.  But that didn't change anything.  She also vilified him for not supporting her through the process, despite her cheating, and him not actually being the dad.  Even when we would randomly bump into him when out, she still associated him as the dad.  That's some weird dissociation going on there.  These people are very, very sick human beings. 

Everyday I ask myself what in the world I was thinking when I got with her?  And especially what was I thinking when I married her?  Sheesh.  Young and dumb, I guess.

[clydegriffith]

These people are very, very sick human beings

100% agree. I've got to the point where absoltuley nothing this woman does would surprise me. If someone told me she tried to sleep with her mom's new husband, i wouldn't bat an eyelash.

[Matt8888]

Nothing these women do surprise me.  Abortions are so common among these women.  Mine always would tell me she would abort mine if I ever got her pregnant and I actually think she did and abruptly broke up with me right at Christmas.

In hindsight, it's probably for the best.  I didn't trust her and who really knows if it was mine.  I know I would never want a woman with BPD to raise my child.

[clydegriffith]

Nothing these women do surprise me.  Abortions are so common among these women.  Mine always would tell me she would abort mine if I ever got her pregnant and I actually think she did and abruptly broke up with me right at Christmas.

In hindsight, it's probably for the best.  I didn't trust her and who really knows if it was mine.  I know I would never want a woman with BPD to raise my child.

Yes, consider yourself fortunate. At the very least the one you were involved with was not twisted enough to see a child as a means of controling a person as the one i had the extreme misfortune of dealing with apparently thought. 5 kids by 3 guys in 6 years.

[raisins3142]

Mine was very cavalier about not using birth control.  I asked her "did you just not care about getting pregnant?" after she mumbled something about "if I could get pregnant it would have happened by now".  A lot of these little slips let out her inner strumpet (nope, not English as someone thought, I just like that word).  I would not be surprised if she had had abortions in the past and that those compromised her fertility.  She had very weird menstrual cycles, like they would begin and end in just a day or two, and never when I was around, oddly, given that we were together quite a bit.  I would not be surprised if she did not menstruate regularly for some reason she did not share with me.