Bittersweet Dream

[Depression = 72% of members]

Had a dream about her last night, almost 2 months out now. We both had a role in an upcoming mutual friends wedding, she was to be maid of honor and I am officiating the wedding. It's her former best friend. She has since been told (she now lives in Seattle anyway, we are in Virgin Islands) that she is no longer maid of honor, and no longer invited to the wedding.

The dream was that she was at the wedding and we reconnected well in seeing each other. She was seated on one of the aisles, and I got halfway through delivering the vows, but started tearing up at Corinthians "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I paused, and saw her with tears streaming from her eyes as well, and just said, "Brianna... .hold my hand." And she came and did so, and more loudly and powerfully, more deliberately and driven, I delivered the last of the vows, and the bride and groom kissed, and walked down the aisle. and then I turned to her and repeated them, and she said yes.

[Heldfast]

Had a dream about her last night, almost 2 months out now. We both had a role in an upcoming mutual friends wedding, she was to be maid of honor and I am officiating the wedding. It's her former best friend. She has since been told (she now lives in Seattle anyway, we are in Virgin Islands) that she is no longer maid of honor, and no longer invited to the wedding.

The dream was that she was at the wedding and we reconnected well in seeing each other. She was seated on one of the aisles, and I got halfway through delivering the vows, but started tearing up at Corinthians "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I paused, and saw her with tears streaming from her eyes as well, and just said, "Brianna... .hold my hand." And she came and did so, and more loudly and powerfully, more deliberately and driven, I delivered the last of the vows, and the bride and groom kissed, and walked down the aisle. and then I turned to her and repeated them, and she said yes.

[neverloveagain]

I have frequent dreams of my BPDexgf all seem real and always follow me round for the next day. If your nc dont let the feelings you feel on awaking break you down into breaking nc. Stay strong im 11 months nc. It will be ok in time 

[wavelife]

That dream really pulled my heart strings.  I can remember so clearly the day she stood at the alter with tears in her eyes and I really felt that she loved me, that we would always be together.  I struggle with many dreams as well. 

My BPD wife actually quoted that scripture from Corinthians to me during our marriage although she never followed it.  Brought back the memory.  The way my wife quoted scripture and proclaimed to be a Christian yet threw it all out the window if it did not suit her.  She tossed vows and all out and is with another man even though still married.

There are days I really struggle with anger and wish there was some kind of justice in all this.  Trying not to be that way and forgive and let go but its easier said than done.

Meditation and prayer help but not out of the weeds yet.  I think positive thoughts before I fall asleep hoping that my dreams will all be positive.

Hang in there!