Over 6 months complete N/C, suddenly two calls during the night

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I really believed that my exBPD would be different, but true to form and all of the experiences of you all, it happened.

I am in a new, so far really nice relationship. Taking it really at a nice pace for me.

During the night, I always silence my phone due to friends all over the world texting all different times and me needing sleep. Early Sunday morning my phone had two calls within a half hour at 4:50 and 5:20 am. I'm never awake at such hours, it was officially after Valentine's Day.

Curiosity to why he might have called led me to contact his children's mom to ask if there was a family tragedy. There isn't, it's also not my problem or business to get involved if there was something. I was done over 6 months ago.

It's amazing to me that he tried to reach out at all since I did threaten him with an oop if he did. I don't at this point fear him hurting me, so I'm good. It's just so bizarre to me how out of the blue they really do pop out of the woodworks. I would have bet that he would just have painted me black forever since I ended it!

I have learned so much here with my bpdfamily! Thank you all for giving me the skills and knowledge to finally be ok with letting this all just happen and not making my mind go crazy.

I am friends with his first wife, so it was natural to call her. I'm really enjoying my new man and in no way would ever be part of any type of contact with my exBPDbf.

I just wanted to post that there is clarity and hope for things to move forward in this BPD life. I chose n/c for myself! I knew this was my only way to escape the insanity. It was probably one of the hardest things to do based on my feeling for this sick man.

Time really does make it better, reading and learning tools brings the clarity. Learning about ourselves and boundries help us move forward into healthier relationships. We all go through these phases in different times.

I'm in a beautiful place. I having fun. I'm hoping the same for each and every one here. We all deserve peace, to get it I feel what I had to find that peace within myself first.

Life is good and always getting better!

Rifka

[Rifka]

I really believed that my exBPD would be different, but true to form and all of the experiences of you all, it happened.

I am in a new, so far really nice relationship. Taking it really at a nice pace for me.

During the night, I always silence my phone due to friends all over the world texting all different times and me needing sleep. Early Sunday morning my phone had two calls within a half hour at 4:50 and 5:20 am. I'm never awake at such hours, it was officially after Valentine's Day.

Curiosity to why he might have called led me to contact his children's mom to ask if there was a family tragedy. There isn't, it's also not my problem or business to get involved if there was something. I was done over 6 months ago.

It's amazing to me that he tried to reach out at all since I did threaten him with an oop if he did. I don't at this point fear him hurting me, so I'm good. It's just so bizarre to me how out of the blue they really do pop out of the woodworks. I would have bet that he would just have painted me black forever since I ended it!

I have learned so much here with my bpdfamily! Thank you all for giving me the skills and knowledge to finally be ok with letting this all just happen and not making my mind go crazy.

I am friends with his first wife, so it was natural to call her. I'm really enjoying my new man and in no way would ever be part of any type of contact with my exBPDbf.

I just wanted to post that there is clarity and hope for things to move forward in this BPD life. I chose n/c for myself! I knew this was my only way to escape the insanity. It was probably one of the hardest things to do based on my feeling for this sick man.

Time really does make it better, reading and learning tools brings the clarity. Learning about ourselves and boundries help us move forward into healthier relationships. We all go through these phases in different times.

I'm in a beautiful place. I having fun. I'm hoping the same for each and every one here. We all deserve peace, to get it I feel what I had to find that peace within myself first.

Life is good and always getting better!

Rifka

[cloudten]

When I first saw the subject of this post and who wrote it I thought "OH NO! She was doing SO WELL!"

But now that I read it you are STILL DOING SO WELL! Yay! Yay! Yay!

I am so thrilled for you! Please don't stop coming here because people like me need you here giving us hope to find that light at the end of the tunnel!

[Rifka]

When I first saw the subject of this post and who wrote it I thought "OH NO! She was doing SO WELL!"

But now that I read it you are STILL DOING SO WELL! Yay! Yay! Yay!

I am so thrilled for you! Please don't stop coming here because people like me need you here giving us hope to find that light at the end of the tunnel!

Thank you Cloud ten! 

Yes we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend on Valentine's day! It's very cute as we are both over 50. He is a very nice, kind, empathetic person. He is definately not a BPD or npd. Just a regular guy! He cooked dinner 2 times last week for me at his apt after working. He even invited my children for dinner one night. He told me that he hasn't cooked for anybody in the five years that he lived there, but now wants to cook! It's really wonderful!

Honestly he is a non, so it makes it easy for us to talk about our experiences and for him to understand my cautious behavior and respect my boundries which are very clearly defined.

N/C whatsoever with my ex was the only way to go for myself to move forward in the beginning of the healing process. You can follow my posts and journey! It was incredible, but similar to so many here.

You will get there with time and space away from the exes!



Rifka