What's the best or most useful thing you've read on BPDfamily.com?

[Tim300]

What's the best or most useful thing you've read on here about BPD?  I've come across a lot of good nuggets. 

One of the best things I've read was a response someone gave to a wild BPD triangulation story someone had asked about.  The responder said quite bluntly: ":)ude -- she's mentally ill, you get that right?"  This response was perhaps curt, but it also seemed like a good reality check that was worth stating and that I appreciated reading.

[jhkbuzz]

What's the best or most useful thing you've read on here about BPD?  I've come across a lot of good nuggets. 

One of the best things I've read was a response someone gave to a wild BPD triangulation story someone had asked about.  The responder said quite bluntly: ":)ude -- she's mentally ill, you get that right?"  This response was perhaps curt, but it also seemed like a good reality check that was worth stating and that I appreciated reading.

Hah!  Some of those one liners get through in a way that nothing else can!

Having said that, 2010's post about the abandoned versus the lonely child was a real eye opener for me - as many others have said, it completely desribed the r/s I was in.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=161524.msg1548981#msg1548981

[Madison66]

Great question!  I'm going to give you two things I read hear that helped me tremendously with my recovery and detachment from a 3+ year r/s with uBPD/NPD ex gf.  Here they are:

1. The huge importance of maintaining n/c - I can't tell you how huge this was for me and my T told me the same thing

2. To turn the focus inward as opposed to being obsessed with the actions and words of my ex gf.  This was a game changer and is a bit of wisdom I have gained from this whole experience.  It also helped me understand that love and acceptance starts within and that the most important r/s I will have in my life is with "me".

There's more I'm sure, but again these two things were hugely important over the last 15 months and will continue to be for the rest of my life!