I want my relationship with BPD partner to grow and work

[yogirex58]

My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost two years.  Up until four months ago, it was awesome.  I know, I know, I have read all the information about BPD and the phases of relationships, watched videos, etc.  I have sit down and seriously examined myself, and my wants and needs.  I have come to the conclusion, that it may be very very difficult, but I want her in my life, and hope and want to believe I have the emotional strength to work with myself, my therapist, to help her and I to have a relationship.  Right now we are apart, her choosing.  I am looking for support, and most importantly advice, and education.  I am not the type of person who gives up on someone just because they are ill.  I hope, and I came here for support and education.  Please keep that in mind when responding.

[Lucky Jim]

Hi yogi, What makes you think your SO has BPD?  What was the cause of your b/u four months ago?  Are you in contact with her?  Everyone's situation is a little different, so I am trying to get a better sense of where you are in your r/s with a pwBPD.  LuckyJim

[Aussie0zborn]

You say, "I want my relationship with BPD partner to grow and work".  I want to win the lottery. It's possible but what do you think my chances are?

I wanted mine to work too, and I did everything possible and even more. Everyone is different but generally speaking, you cannot tame a mental illness of this nature.

To make such a relationship work you have to sacrifice your life for her and then when the time comes she will more than likely discard you.

Just for one second, can you just picture yourself in an equal relationship with a healthy person? No need to sacrifice your life to make her happy, no "doing the work", no running to therapists and more importantly, no nonsense to contend with.

I think the support that might serve you best is seeing a therapist and working out why you would set yourself up for a life of misery. Good luck.

[Mutt]

Right now we are apart, her choosing. 

I'm sorry to hear that.

Have you been apart before?