I dont' know if I should be here?

[aburisho]

Hello,

I am recovering from a relationship that ended 2 months ago.  We have a 2 year old.  The behaviors that brought me here have not been present for a couple of years but have come up since the split.  My former partner broke up with me and yet the BPD like behaviors have intensified.  I feel very lost and confused:

How I should go about co parenting?

Does she have BPD?

Thank you

[Turkish]

Hello aburshio, and

This is a good a place to start as any, given your situation. I'm sorry that she ended your relationship. It's tough enough to deal with that, and you being the target of worse behaviors (while you are probably trying to process the split) is added trauma 

First, what's your custody status? How often do you see your child?

Turkish

[aburisho]

 

We were never married.  I had known BPD for a couple of years.  Attracted to her but thought she was trouble.  We dated for a month and then she got pregnant.  We committed to having the child.  I saw alot of BPD behaviors in the first year or so.  She split up with me when our child was one.  Started drinking heavily.  got into AA.  We then started to mend the relationship and were talking about moving back in together.  The relationship got better but was still distant.  Two months after the plan to move in together she split and now is in a relationship. Bpd behaviors are back:  Very controlling.  I tried to do NC and she flipped and threatened me.

Regarding my son :  When we split originally we started using an agreed upon schedule.  We are currently sharing about 50/50.  No legal involvment yet.  The schedule is convoluted and requires alot of contact.  I don't know if I can handle this amount of contact

[livednlearned]

Hi aburisho,

I wanted to join Turkish in welcoming you to the site.

A lot of people here probably have spouses who are pre-clinical BPD or are undiagnosed, so you'll fit right in if your ex is not full-blown BPD. A lot of the behaviors require the same type of responses.

Can you tell us a little about how her behaviors have intensified?

BPD sufferers tend to roll over boundaries, and people who end up in these relationships tend to have weak boundaries. Does she make it difficult for you to see your child?