Had a really bad night... just get me back up folks

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So i've been doing pretty good with N/C and sorting my head out etc but tonight i saw a pic of my StbxUBPDw she had gone to a friend that she has previously 'blacked' and i got all angry and defensive so i pm'd my friend asking if i'd been blacked and got a terse reply saying no and she is upset that i asked her about a private convo? erm i didnt ask for details... bear in mind this friend asked me last year to check on her ex's FB as she wanted to know if he was screwing around? anyhoo the result is i feel really low and weak and nearly pm'd my ex to connect... .luckily i didnt

so just gee me up give me strength replies keep me from the dark side please  

[mitatsu]

So i've been doing pretty good with N/C and sorting my head out etc but tonight i saw a pic of my StbxUBPDw she had gone to a friend that she has previously 'blacked' and i got all angry and defensive so i pm'd my friend asking if i'd been blacked and got a terse reply saying no and she is upset that i asked her about a private convo? erm i didnt ask for details... bear in mind this friend asked me last year to check on her ex's FB as she wanted to know if he was screwing around? anyhoo the result is i feel really low and weak and nearly pm'd my ex to connect... .luckily i didnt

so just gee me up give me strength replies keep me from the dark side please  

[ReluctantSurvivor]

Hey Mitatsu,

  Sorry to hear you are going through some withdrawal pangs over seeing a pic of your XpwBPD.  These feelings are just a pain, I have felt the same way before.  You said you are doing good with N/C, I take it that when not blindsided by reminders of the ex that you are feeling pretty good about keeping your boundaries up? 

[mitatsu]

Hey Mitatsu,

  Sorry to hear you are going through some withdrawal pangs over seeing a pic of your XpwBPD.  These feelings are just a pain, I have felt the same way before.  You said you are doing good with N/C, I take it that when not blindsided by reminders of the ex that you are feeling pretty good about keeping your boundaries up? 

Yeah it's just it's friday night and always hard as it was our main night but yes to boundaries up and usually on course  argh i hate fighting this thing sometimes

[ReluctantSurvivor]

I feel you man.  The aftermath of a BPD r/s is a serious detox.  I'm 8 months out and still have the odd bad day.  What can you do for yourself that is fun and won't remind you of the past?  I lived in a gym for months.  Whenever my mind got really mixed up (or my heart) I would go and give it all to my lady iron.