Question re: financial assistance from BPD mom

[Only Child]

This is my second post today, and I have another question for you to hopefully get some some constructive feedback/suggestions on.  I am in NC with my elderly BPD mom.  I am 65 years old, she is 93.  For the last several years I have had to be in NC with her, but it has not been continuous due to her having illnesses or injuries pulling me back in to her crises and hospital visits and other weird manipulations.  The sticky area is around finances.  I am on SSDI (Social Security Disability Income) since 2010, and I am unable to meet my expenses every month, so I have to use my savings and that is slowly depleting.  The one thing my BPD mom does which actually does help me out is to deposit a few hundred dollars electronically into  my account to help me out each month.  This has been helpful.  I was hoping to find a job so I wouldn't need this, but I'm having a tough time with finding a part-time job at my age as well as complying with SSDI income restrictions, and my savings is running very low.  I feel like I need to ask her for financial help with some major expenses I've had, but I wonder if I should totally stay away from that, even though I'm living on poverty income with SSDI benefits and savings.  I'm very worried that I'll end up having to move in with her when I can no longer pay my rent.  Sometimes the fact that she gives me some money each month adds to my FOG, but other times I consider it as payment for "damages" that she owes me--if it weren't for being raised by an abusive, BPD mother, would not now be on SSDI with PTSD, chronic anxiety and depression.  So, I feel I deserve these financial handouts, and I try not to feel guilty about it.  I'm not sure though about reaching out to her for additional financial help for a recent, large unexpected auto expense.  I'm wondering and curious what others of you think in regards to having a partial financial dependency on a BPD parent due to being on disability (SSDI) for chronic emotional problems that prevent me from being able to hold down a job as I once could (although barely, at that).     Thank you for your help

[Tim300]

Sorry that you are going through this.  Not sure there's an easy answer here.