disengaging, healing or just ruminating

[lazyrust]

Hi all, just came here after reading the post on post-break ups with people with BPD.

Indeed, I am getting to the point where it became clear that our relationship wasn't going to work. This was the second time. The first was just a prologue. The sad thing is, looking back at how the relationship unfolded I feel a sense of resentment that I wasn't told a lot of things that might have helped AND that the SO was indeed doing a lot of things right, doing certain things that SO was taught in therapy and indeed trying to avoid triggers. I walked blindly and got split black.

Right now its the idle threats of a protection order although its unclear what exactly such an order would be for (as I've never sent gifts, followed, was violent). I assume SO just wanted a "permaban" on my life. So that's pretty tough to deal with.

My esteem is recovering and my self-doubt is receding. But I figured I'd do this self-post thing and perhaps lurk a bit.

As the rest of people here would know, it is a darn shame how these things work out. Letting go is tough.

[cosmonaut]

Hi lazyrust   



I'm really sorry to hear about the end of your relationship.  These breakups can be extremely hard on us, and they can be very painful.  We can all certainly understand.  I hope we'll be able to help you in your healing.  These forum have been a tremendous support for me in my own breakup.

Are you finished with the relationship for good?  You seem to indicate that you are in your post, and you also mentioned the protection order your ex took out (you are not the only one here who has had one taken out on them under false allegations, btw).  But, since you posted in the Undecided forum, I am just curious as to how you are feeling about proceeding.  It's ok if you aren't completely sure yet.

I'm really glad that your self esteem is recovering and your self doubt is dissipating.  That's great that you are feeling that way.  Don't be upset if you find yourself slipping backwards at times.  That's very normal, and almost all of us have done that in our journey.  This is a process and it's one that takes time.

If you feel like sharing more, we'd love to hear more about what brings you here and how we can help you.  If you'd rather lurk around a bit, that's fine too.  I'd recommend trying to get your feelings and thoughts out after a little while, though.  I think most members find that to be the most helpful in processing their relationship and healing.  Hope to see you around.