why do I feel guilty

[confusedinWI]

Why do I feel guilty for going nc and blocking her number from my phone and texts? I feel guilty for putting my needs first for once. Not that at this point she cares because she's been with new guy for two months.

I doubt she will even reach out in the future to me. I hate that my best first date ever was with her. That a lot of great moments dont mean anything to her. I took so much raging and put downs and drunken outburst from her. I loved her the best I could but yet I feel guilty as if ive abandoned her.

She should feel guilty about discarding me and my children. But sje doesnt care. 

When will I start realizing this is for the best that I shouldnt have put up with this for so long. Thst the intimacy and cuddling wasnt real for her but it was for me.

[valet]

Hey confused, sorry that you're going through this.

It's easy to struggle with these thoughts, definitely. I've been in that position before.

Have you made your intentions to go NC with your ex known to her? A lot of the guilt that I felt was alleviated when I sent her an email telling her that I blocked/deleted her from several things because it was interfering with my own healing. She seemed to paint me white after I did that, and I felt a lot better.

It doesn't take a lot. You don't need to make proclamations of love, just simply to be like 'hey, this hurts too much and I can't do it anymore. it's not good for me.'

If she doesn't understand that, then she will have to resolve it on her own terms.