Bad luck, BPD and Karma

[dagwoodbowser]

I was doing some Spring Cleaning on my computer clearing out folders, files, docs, pics pretty much on a man hunt for anything relating to my X as we used to share the computer. I came across a folder that belonged to her. Resume, references, a few scanned documents but also a few letters... .more like random scattered diary entries. Wow... .Drama, scandal, bad news or some sort of upheaval at every turn.

I know her life from the time she was born was harsh. Neglect, abuse to include emotional, sexual and physical, instability and impact losing her father to divorce at an early age. Based on what she tells me, life just simply got worse and she dropped out of high school and a few run-ins with the law. When I met her she was living in terrible poverty with her 2 small kids. Enter the Savoir and White Knight. Helped her get GED, some social services, new place and eventually a great job.

Thing is I saw it had little impact overall on how she viewed life, circumstances and I was still viewed as the glass half empty. While we were together some of the oddest events, accidents or incidents would just occur out of no where. Always some sort of FB drama or smearing or old friend that was out for revenge.

I'm glad to be away from all this now, but it had me thinking. Does anyone think it's possible that as a BPD she self perpetuates a hail of bad luck because of her actions, cause-effect or is it that since the day she started to accumulate multiple PTSD's she has become a self-fulling prophesy of doom and bad karma? Was my BPDx the only one that attracted some sort of heavenly wrath?

[Turkish]

Is it karma, or simply the natural consequences of choices?

[dagwoodbowser]

Is it karma, or simply the natural consequences of choices?

You know, part of me wants to say it's consequences, but some events I think were "divine" in nature, bad luck or karma. She has harmed a lot of people though she always plays stuff off as the victim.

[Irish Pride]

Is it karma, or simply the natural consequences of choices?

Bingo. This is my belief, anyway. Over the year and a half I was with my ex, she gave me the skinny on everything that "happened" to her. Over time, I came to realize that her position in life was not due to misfortune or karma. It was a direct result of the choices she had made in the past. Everything from her financial situation, to her children being massive f'ups, right down to her still being single at 45 years old. Granted, she had a bad childhood. However, her sister (which at one point even told me "she's a mess" has her own house, her daughter is a sweetheart and she seems to have her life pretty much under control. There's only so much you can blame on "outside interference". It's my belief that her situation is a direct result of the garbage choices she's made. And she still hasn't learned, nor will she.

[dagwoodbowser]

[quoteBingo. This is my belief, anyway. Over the year and a half I was with my ex, she gave me the skinny on everything that "happened" to her. Over time, I came to realize that her position in life was not due to misfortune or karma. It was a direct result of the choices she had made in the past. Everything from her financial situation, to her children being massive f'ups, right down to her still being single at 45 years old.][/quote]
I would agree with this as my x has ruined her credit, has a criminal record and due to impulsive poor choices has left a trail of destruction behind her. But... .there' a few things. I've never had issues with vandalism. My windshield was purposefully vandalized one day when we went to a Walmart together. We were staying at some friends on a trip and my x made some snide comment to my friends wife. Was a very tense 2 days. One of the nights a relatively new water heater busts open. Another time at her house we had a minor disagreement and the air was tense. Within an hour a main sewer line in basement blows. There's a few more... .is she like frek'n Carrie or cursed?

[enlighten me]

I agree. My exs had a lot happen to them but the majority of these things were down to bad choices on their behalf. Going home with strangers, cheating on boyfriends, heavy drinking etc etc.

I was thinking about my exs child hood and have wondered was it only bad because they did wrong? Did they play up, steal and generally misbehave or was it they were victimised. My opinion on this is they probably were punished because of their behaviour rather than malicious parenting.

Even the school run would be a tale of misfortune. With crazy drivers pulling out on them. The fact that they drive recklessly and are theproblem drivers is lost on them.