Sorry this is so freaking long, I haven't been able to get all of this out to anybody and it helps to just write it our even if nobody can read all of this
. My ex basically did to me what she has done every single time... .she has a relationship cycle of 1-2 years and just leaves right into another... .Ok kind of a back story first, me and my ex were together for a little over 2 and half years. We grew up together and have been friends for a long time before we ever got together. her family moved away about an hour away before highschool so we kind of lost touch. She was with a guy ALL through high school and they got married right after graduation... .They were hardly married for 1 year before she left him out of no where and came back to our home town(very small town). She came to just get away from things but ended up staying with me for awhile... .she would never give a real good reason as to why she left but It never really bothered me... .So she ends up living with me for a few months and I start to really like her a lot. I find out shes started sleeping with one of my best friends(which she was allowed to but it really hurt) She then ends up spending a lot of time with my friend but would come back and sleep in my bed. We only were intimate a couple times. Finally I told her she was messing with my head too much and I couldn't do it anymore. SO she moves in with my friend and dates him for a year. She ends up "breaking up" with him and instantly hooking up with a guy. who she then dates for 2 years... .They were pretty serious so it seemed... .my Sister has always been best friends with her and my ex would tell her that she didn't like being with him.
but she still wanted to get married and were trying to have a baby but ended up having a miscarriage, and leaves him soon after.
I wanted to kind of show what shes done her whole dating life. A couple of weeks after she left the last guy she starts texting me out of the blue. We had not talked ever since she left my friend. Our relationship started really fast out of nowhere. We then basically start hooking up a lot... .then after a couple of weeks she starts telling me that when she was staying with me and dating my friend she was young, really confused and wanted to party because she felt she missed out on that from being with her eventual husband who did not let her experience that. I was not the really party type, I like to have fun but my friend liked to party A LOT... .SO, she told me she screwed up back then and that she REALLY liked me a lot then she just didn't want to get into a relationship with me, she even said she loved me then she fell for me so hard. And she said it was for the better because she felt she had matured a lot since then. We start dating and two months later we find out shes pregnant.
We didn't start living together until the day we brought our son home. which was exactly two year ago. Everything was going really good for the most part until I bought a house in October. At this point we had been talking about getting married and we were actively trying to have another baby. I was reluctant to at first because I wanted to wait another year but then we both agreed it was what we wanted to do. We wanted to do a lot of renovations to the house and had to basically live in a construction zone for a few months. At first I was doing everything I could to get the house done and I kind of wore myself out on working on the house and kind of stopped. So pretty much from December through march I did nothing on the house... .and I started slacking off on doing any house work around the house also. I paid ALL the bills in the house hold
(I KNOW THIS IS COMPLETLY WRONG) but I had it in my head that It was unfair for me to work my ass off to pay the bills and being doing all the work on the house by myself and it was plenty fair that she could do house work and take care of our son... .DONT GET ME WRONG HERE EITHER... .Its not like I didn't do anything with our son or chores around the house. I did those things also, but not like I should have... .But I found out me starting to get lazy and me giving empy promises was a BIG problem to her
Ok so we have never really even had a big fight about anything, we had terrible communication and little things would build up and then explode into something huge that shouldn't even have been a fight... .that is pretty much as bad as it got between us fighting... .EXCEPT when she would out of nowhere throw a huge raging fit at me or my son.
SCREAMING at us... .Most of the time it would be over something so tiny or o wouldn't even know at all... .this completely confused me. I just ignored her when this would happen... .she would just stomp around the house throw things and scream... .She was always on and off of welbutrin... .she would just be to lazy to go refill her script and just stop it cold turkey and then eventually start it back up... .and things would be waay better... .she could be the most caring loving person in the world to me and my son and then make me feel like the lowest piece of crap on earth and I just went along with it because I loved her more than anything.
But any time she would get so mad at me over nothing and then expect me to apologize and I got to the point where I didn't want to anymore for something I didn't do. it felt like everything she thought I was starting, I thought the same about her. SO I guess I finally get the point of where we are now... .I did NOT want it to sound like she didn't have a reason to leave me but, I feel like she completely gave up and didn't let me know she was feeling so hurt and unhappy... .
Ill try to not make this any longer... .We both work for a school so we had spring break. We went out for my birthday weekend and stayed at a hotel for the weekend and went and had a really good time... .She said we needed to get away from stress and the our son every once and awhile... .She kept saying how much fun she had... .SO that was the very beginning of spring break. OK so my ex smokes weed... .like everyday... .where she used to get her weed went away so she found somebody else... .he was a friend of a friend... .SO She starts going over to our friends house to smoke wax because he liked just getting people high... .I had no problem with it, I never told her she couldn't do anything that she wanted to... .So she start going over there for a couple hours for like 4 days straight... .This is when I started to get really pissed off and jealuos... .So I start ignoring her, A LOT. THen she start having him come to the house... .which I was there so it didn't bother me... .they would sit there and smoke and watch tv. Then the end of break Friday and Saturday I was out doing things at my parents house and she told me he was coming over, fine, whatever... .I come back home 4 hours later, he is still there and they are sitting on the couch right next to each other. IM super pissed at this point... .my ex sleeps out on the couch that night... .pisses me off even more... .next day she has him come over again and an exact repeat of the day before. And she sleeps out on the couch again because she was up late watching netflix... .im extremely pissed at this point... .I start asking why she can spend all this time with this guy right in front of my face and not spend anytime with me. she keeps saying hes just a friend, how dare I even say anything like that... .Next day is my actual birthday and I get up and leave in the morning and leave my phone, I come back HOURS later, and this guy is there. I tell them he needs to leave. he leaves. awhile later my ex says shes going to og over to his house to buy some weed from him and I asked her if she was sure if that was all she was going to get... .She tells me ___ you... .and turns off her phone and doesn't come home... .She comes back next day and basically skirts around actually saying the words that we are done... .I never even heard the words out of her mouth... .but I knew... .SO I told her I would give her space and I would go to my parents house and she could stay in our house... .she agrees... .to me this is taking a break to work things out... .Almost 2 weeks go by and she ignores me completely... .I tried and tried to get her to talk to me because this came out of nowhere and I was completely confused and heartbroken... .but shes still staying at my house... .One night I went over to my friends house to get her off of my mind and drunk... .I said I feel really weird im going to go home... .im driving home and I have to go by my house to get to my parents... .its like 1230 and this guys car is there and no lights on. I sneek up to the house and go to the bedroom window and guess what! I hear them getting it on... .SO I bust into the house blah blah blah... .
she moves into a new house and this guy is staying over there but not living there... .couple weeks later he is living there full time... .He is completely opposite of me, has nothing in common with my ex AT ALL hes basically a kid(way younger) and has no intention of having a family... .
Anyway we have talked a few times about us breaking up and she never gave me a full complete answer. she would tell me one thing one time and another next... .but it boiled down to she said she was unhappy and hurt and she had to get out to make herself happy... .I feel like I never got a chance to know something was wrong to be able to fix it.
She kept giving me mixed signals when we would talk... .she would say thing like not right now when I would ask if we could work it out... .she keeps saying not right now... .I said it feels like she never cared and she said she care a lot and that why its almost impossible to care now... . and then she will say shes not into doing us again... .and she is blatantly lying about things that I know are 100% true like not wanting to have another kid and not wanting to get married. she told our mutual friend and my sister that she loved me more than anything and would never imagine being without me... .
So she hasn't really talked to me at all unless it has to do with our son... .until last week... .she starts texting me more and more everyday... .now its gotten to the point it almost like everything is normal like how we would always talk... .we never really ever talked on the phone much, but she has been calling me and starts talking about random stuff and then out of nowhere asks im ok? sounds like im super depressed... .shes done this like 3 times in a row now... .I tell her no im doing good everytime... .she said we should be friends on facebook now. now she keeps talking to me on facebook a lot and texting me constantly... .and im not initiating any of it because it kills me... .
I love her to death and want it to work for our family to stay together... .but I feel like she emotionally cheated on me and then had no disregard to have sex with a guy in my house when I thought we were taking a break/ time apart... .I know she's probably just stringing me along, she said shes not doing that multiple times... .I don't know what to do at this point... .I always have to see her because we 50/50 parent our son... .so she wont be out of my life for a LONG time and that's super hard because I love her to death and still want to spend our lives together... .I wanted to show that she just completely moves on from a relationship and completely HATES her ex when shes done... .and its always never been known what the problem was and it was never huge... .This seems different with me but I know she never goes back to an ex once shes done
