Hello

[CarlowGirl]

Hello and Thank You for the warm welcome to the group.

I am in a relationship with a man who has not been diagnosed with BPD. He has bi polar and anxiety disorders and is really struggling right now. Following recent behaviours by him I found this website, and I asked him to take an online BPD test. He scored high on the test which he said suggests he might have this condition. I looked up this website for tools on how to communicate effectively with him and applied the principles I saw here... .that was one of the most calming conversations we have had in a long time. Thank you for having this group.

I don't know what to do next... .I don't know for certain if he has BPD or if the two other disorders are showing the same behaviours? He is hurting a lot. I am struggling too. All that I have read on here applies to him. I want him to get the correct treatment for him, and I want to support him through it.

Any help you can give on how to move forward would be really welcome.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[EaglesJuju]

Hi CarlowGirl, 

Welcome aboard. You have come to a wonderful place for support and understanding.

I understand your concern with your significant other and helping him get the right treatment. 

BPD can be misdiagnosed as Bipolar and certain anxiety disorders, such as PTSD or GAD.  BPD often co-occurs with mood disorders, such as bipolar. The difference between anxiety disorders/mood disorders and personality disorders is a stable and long term pattern of behavior that is inflexible and maladaptive and cause significant impairment to an individual's life. Depending on the type of Bipolar, it is dependent on the type of episodes, e.g. manic, major depressive, hypomanic, mixed etc. Essentially it is a mood swing for a temporary period of time, then back to baseline mood.  Similarly, PTSD/GAD has temporary periods of heightened anxiety. Usually panic attacks are associated with both.

The long term behavior of a personality disorder can be distinguished by a well trained psychiatrist/psychologist. It may take awhile to diagnose, because a therapist needs to establish trust and "weed out" other possible diagnoses. Prior to diagnosing a personality disorder, a therapist will go through other possibilities. This process may take awhile.

If a psychologist/psychiatrist is informed about the possibility of suffering from a personality disorder, they can expedite the process by asking questions designed from diagnostic criteria.

Regardless of the diagnosis, there are therapy techniques that are beneficial for a multitude of disorders, such as PTSD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy are both shown to help BPD, PTSD, and Bipolar. I would look for an experienced psychologist/psychiatrist that specializes in personality disorders and CBT/DBT.

The behavior of your significant other is what should be focused on. What behavior are you having a hard time coping with?

[an0ught]

Hi CarlowGirl,

EaglesJuju has greatly explained some of the important aspects and differences. Getting our loved on diagnosed correctly can be important and even more important is that they get the right therapy.

Still as you have realized the biggest short term improvement you can get is by adjusting your approach towards him. The LESSONS are a good start but then often the best is to join the discussion, compare your experience with what is discussed and offering your own stories. Writing things down and reading responses helps a lot to make sense out of our confused lives.

,

a0