How to urge PwBPD to continue treatment

[funfunky]

So PwBPD was receiving therapy briefly with a very good therapist who is skilled in alternative therapies. I see her regularly as well and she has been very helpful with me and giving tips to help PwBPD. The problem is that PwBPD is convinced that therapy will never help and that therapy and my urging him to attend it will only make things worse. How do I still gently push him towards treatment without making him feel forced or threatened in any way? The therapist thinks I might have to create a crisis by leaving for a few days.  I'm not sure that's such a good idea with his history of attempted suicides and self harm plus his jealousy issues. I also don't believe a crisis will necessarily create Any type of light bulb moment in which he suddenly believes therapy will help. The last time I walked out on him it was just for the day. I was very upset and he told me not to leave or I'd regret it. He then destroyed a possession of mine  while I was away and sent me a picture of the destroyed item. He sent many angry texts but I was able to remain calm and empathetic. When I didn't lash back he was confused and called me telling me he wanted me to hate him. I told him I couldn't hate him because I love him unconditionally. He broke down and dropped into the regretful depression stage we see after every argument. He wanted to kill himself but I talked him down from that. When he said he wanted to self harm as repayment I talked him down as well. He still wanted to do something to make up for it, so I told him attending therapy would.  He then attended one more therapy visit. The visit went very well in my opinion. He was not made to feel threatened in any way and the therapist instead focused on making it a safe place. For some reason he's refused any further therapy after that. I think another "crisis" would only create a repeat of these events. I don't want a repeat, I'm looking for improvement. Any suggestions?

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Hi funfunky

Keeping up therapy is one of the hardest aspects with healing from BPD. Commitment is not one of their strongest traits. It often involves a lot of stop starts. They need to want to do it, and can't be "told" to do it.

Have a read through this workshop on attending and encouraging treatment and see if there is anything useful in there for you:

PERSPECTIVES: Telling someone that you think they have BPD

Waverider

[jcl76]

I have BPD. I would think that tell him how much you love him, how patient you are, how suppotive you will be, and you want him to be the best person they can be becasue their happiness is important to you.