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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: It's complicated and I need help and advice  (Read 456 times)
Lost_wanderer
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: May 14, 2015, 10:13:21 PM »

Hi. I need some advice and this situation is somewhat complicated.  I have tried to take measures to help myself but it keeps becoming muddled.  My exBF is BPD, I thought this may be the case, but after my suggestion he talk to someone the diagnosis was official.  He broke up with me, multiple times, that alone is a long story, but it always came back.  However, after the last time, I had quit my job and was reducing contact and trying to move on and he since began to message me, we fought a lot, then some thjngs settled, but he began self destructive behaviors, and I listened and then I became anxious/stressed, felt guilty, becUse my pulling away was "part of the problem".  I need to move on at least with my professional life, but this whole thjng has left me feeling depressed and alone and it's been two months since daily contact was ceased.  Each time I start to feel like I can stand on my own, then somethjng happens and contact is increased and there is some drama.  I have a lot of guilt over this, he wants to be friends but there is another woman and I feel rejected, etc, an have my own feelings, but he is self destructing and I am a caregiver of course.  I know it seems painfully obvious once I write it all out, but is there a way to do all this? I feel so tired sometimes and I stop taking care of me at all. I feel like I'm this bad person for not wanting to be this compassionate friend, but I don't know what to do.  Boundaries are met with guilt trips and I am left feeling alone. Also there has been a lot of Internet stalking behavior and some physical stalking that I know of, to the point that I am not sure how comfortable I am even writing on a forum. But I need to talk. Thank ou for listening.

Lost... .
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Mike-X
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 669


« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2015, 11:15:37 PM »

Welcome to the boards. I am sorry for all that you have been through, and I encourage you to continue posting and reading.

There are two articles that I would like to recommend, if you haven't read them already:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-borderline-relationship-evolves

https://bpdfamily.com/content/surviving-break-when-your-partner-has-borderline-personality
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