Update and other tidbits

[mgl210]

Greetngs all,

I once posted incessantly about my ex with BPD. We would be off and then we would be back on again and then go back to being off. I am not sure if i had let you guys/gals know that we last spoke on Valentine;'s Day of last year.  Well, fast forward about six days ago. I was texting a friend on my phone and I got an incoming email from my ex. It turns out she had gotten married and is now adjusting to family life.  Its very difficult to place my exact emotions on the situation. A part of me feels complete and total betrayal by this knowledge, it feels as if someone literally stabbed me right where it counts, and twisted it completely around. Another part of me feels elation, I have been feeling lately that she was married or seriously involved with someone else. 

I sit here at 411am Tueday morning, still unsure of how to feel. I feel as if this isn't the last time that I will hear from her. I have a feeling that although she is so called married that the cycle isn't completely over yet in her eyes.  As far as how do i feel. I don't know. I really don't. I have my moments of being releived and then I have some moments of feeling extremely disappoiinted/depressed.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated

MGL

[enlighten me]

These differing feelings are only to be expected. Part of you is wondering what you did wrong. Why she has married someone else and not you. The rational side is relieved that you had a lucky escape. Listen to your rational side. Realise that its not going to be all that rosey for her husband.

we all have these doubts.

[Arcturus81]

When I heard my ex found someone I went through the whole gambit of emotions. I was sad and depressed that they were giving there love to someone else when I thought that I deserved it. I was jealous that the new person might be better in bed than me. I lost sleep and time and appetite. I then realized that this was just how they are. The only sane path for you to follow is acceptance. You can do nothing for her or the situation. It is possible to detach. Just imagine 10 years down the road when this is all a memory you will probably laugh at. You will find your one.