I'm stuck between wanting to show empathy and wanting to protect myself from bei

[Dudi]

My sis and I had a relatively good relationship... .loving, giving, and willing to go out of our ways to help one another... .our kids got along beautifully. We had our "normal" sibling fights and disagreements, but we always made up and bore no grudges. At least I did. Even when she and her husband divorced, we maintained a nice relationship with her ex.

Then there was an arranged marriage. She agreed to marry a person who has a terrible reputation. She literally threw herself in his arms - they're so different. Also, he's turning her against me... .In a way she's a big girl and should be able to do what she wants to. After all it's her life... .right? However what wasn't acceptable was that she was constantly fighting with me and my husband... .she became disrespectful. Also, she did not include us in any of the stages of her marriage... .we weren't invited to the wedding. Now one year after her marriage she wants to invite me to her new home.  I refuse to go into her new home because I feel her husband has helped her turn against me and my husband and kids.  I do try and meet her outside her new home. I'm torn between giving in to her husband's tactics which is to alienate us sisters from each other, or to swallow my pride and accept her hospitality I her new home after being rude to us, or to let go of my sister... .Also, because of her outbursts, I worry if I do go out of my way and accept her invitation, she might have another outburst which will make me regret my going. Whichever way I may choose, I stand to lose one thing or another.

[Kwamina]

Hi Dudi

Welcome to bpdfamily

You are experiencing difficulties in the relationship with your sister ever since she got remarried. I can imagine how hard this must be for you since you used to have a relatively good relationship with her.

This site is aimed at the family-members and relationship partners of people with BPD (traits). Do you believe her current husband has BPD? You also mention the change in your sister's behavior including outbursts, do you suspect she might have BPD?