I have one last question

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've seen posts on here about mirroring and parroting. When trying to tell someone about your feelings, how to you handle when they just mirror everything you said back?

I is really frustrating for me to try and tell my wife how I feel and she repeats it back as her feelings. I understand that these actually may be her feelings and don't want to discount that but it seems to go nowhere at this point. I understand using SET to validate their feelings but what about your own.

Or did I just answer my own question because it's futile to tell an unBPD person about your own feelings, especially when enmeshed very deeply?

[Hmcbart]

I've seen posts on here about mirroring and parroting. When trying to tell someone about your feelings, how to you handle when they just mirror everything you said back?

I is really frustrating for me to try and tell my wife how I feel and she repeats it back as her feelings. I understand that these actually may be her feelings and don't want to discount that but it seems to go nowhere at this point. I understand using SET to validate their feelings but what about your own.

Or did I just answer my own question because it's futile to tell an unBPD person about your own feelings, especially when enmeshed very deeply?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Oooohm]

Or did I just answer my own question because it's futile to tell an unBPD person about your own feelings, especially when enmeshed very deeply?

Bingo.

I've found over the years sharing my "Positive" feelings with my wife has strengthened our R/S and has made her more... ."Stable"... ?

"Negative" feelings I work thru on my own... .Journal, T, or on rare occasion with a trusted friend.

In the past when I tried talking about my feelings she seemed to only "hear" ... ."It's your fault I feel this way"... .Even tho I was extremely careful never to assign blame and always used the word "I" and never "you".  It always blew up into an argument about how she "feels" the same way... .then would progress to She "feels" this way and what am I going to do about it. (Completely forgetting about I brought it up and it started about "How I was feeling"

Futile... .

[formflier]

I've seen posts on here about mirroring and parroting. When trying to tell someone about your feelings, how to you handle when they just mirror everything you said back?

Just mention that you are glad that you guys are connected on this issue... and that you agree.  If she says nothing else... .move along.

If you want to know what they think/feel and want to avoid parroting... .ask them how they feel about it first.  Hush... .they may not answer... .but you shouldn't either.

FF