Restraining/Protective Order thoughts

[Janewhi]

At what point does one actually proceed with requesting this? I have done the research online for my home state and feel that I most likely have enough to proceed with the technicalities, if and when I decide to go this route.

I left the ex in July, 2013 and tried to maintain some sort of friendship several months later, which did not work. The ex saw me on a dating site about a year ago (after "encouraging" me to date others), which prompted a series of very nasty emails from her. Last July, I emailed her and very firmly stated that I do not want any further contact from her at all, and if she persists, I will contact the authorities. She said she would leave me alone, then intermittently would send emails, nasty in tone for quite some time, then changing the tone to nice and would love to see me. I have not responded, and my last contact was that last email requesting no contact.

At one point, I had blocked emails for a few months (she would not know if I were receiving them or not). I lifted the block the first of the year to check her "tone", received a few more emails (nasty, then nice again). She had lived over an hour away, then she informed me in March that she would be working part time in my home town.

I began dating someone in March (a gentleman, who treats me with respect and is emotionally mature), and we are taking things slow. I have not shared with him any details about my last relationship. About a month ago, the ex emailed to let me know she was now working full time in my hometown, was selling her house out of town, and building a new one in another town nearby me. On June 7, she called (left no message) twice on the same day, which also happened to be the first time my gentleman friend spent the night. I then received a birthday card from the ex a few days later, along with a gift card from a restaurant we used to visit together, with an invite to have dinner with her. I then received an email from the ex on my birthday last week, stating she loved and missed me.

I saw my counselor a couple of days ago and will go as needed. She did suggest that I tell my gentleman about the ex, but just state that she used to be a good friend and had been contacting me, and I was letting him know in case we ran into her when we were out so he wasn't caught off card by this unstable person. I did share this with him on Saturday as casually as possible, and that went fine.

So, if the ex "runs into me" or shows up at my door, then what? Obviously I won't let her in. Do I wait until that happens, then call the police, then filing a restraining order? My counselor and I both feel that she probably has done at least a little stalking. At first, the counselor suggested that I just start blocking her again. I would love to do that, but am reluctant right now in case I need evidence. Needless to say, I'm definitely concerned about her being much closer in proximity to my back door.

[.cup.car]

Dont "wait" for anything. Print out some of the nasty emails and talk to the police. Give them a detailed backstory, mention BPD, and they should walk you through what to do.

Inform the new guy what's going on. Don't spare details. Bring him along to the police station for emotional support. You'll need it.

If they advise you to apply for a court order, prepare yourself. The other person obviously gets a chance to defend themselves. Perjury is never prosecuted for so get ready for some wild accusations.

My ex violated our court order in April. She wasn't charged, but everything's on file and I dont have to worry about her. Regardless, I'm still a mess from the initial court dates. Their description of the relationship and the ways they will try to weasel their way out of getting in trouble will disturb you. I still fight the urge to cry at work.

Not trying to scare you, this is what I experienced.