I Broke NC and I Feel Great

[WhatJustHappened?]

Recap: NC for over 4 weeks, exBPD calls yesterday, I send it to VM.

I have been fuming about being lied to and also was tired of feeling like I tucked my tail between my legs and ran (I had initiated NC).

I called today and left her a VM telling her calmly that I know she had lied to me and could never forgive her for it. I feel great!

I'll probably regret the childish consequences that will come from this but I have to say, not to sound too cliche, empowered!

[rotiroti]

Awesome! I'm glad you kept your cool!

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

I would advise that in the world of the BPD a response such as this can indicate a still existent desire to reconnect.  It is good that you are feeling positive however.  I hope it all goes well and your detachment proceeds smoothly.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Glad you feel so good, WJH.  Congrats! 

Reminds me of quitting smoking. To break the habit, I took a class which reconvened abt a week after quitting day.  Within that first week I went out drinking (as I was apt to do in my 20's) and had NOT smoked.  My classmates thought I was wrong to put myself in that situation.  They thought it was risky and a bad indicator/predictor. 

However, I knew this was a HUGE VICTORY for me.  I was in the very setting where I was most likely to relapse and had not.  That was way more of a victory for me than if I had avoided the bar/act of drinking.  Indeed, I think that night cemented my success and i am now twenty years smoke-free.

I was right about myself, knew what it meant to me, and had to trust myself in the face of vocal opposition.  I was surprised that not one person agreed with me, but I held onto my perspective.  I still had to be very vigilant for a long time as the smoking addict in me was strong but that first victory seriously strengthened my resolve. 

Your call to your ex feels likewise.  Only you can know what it really means to you.  Good for you giving yourself what you needed and for empowering yourself.

Keep up the good work!