How do I get my BPD partner respond to emails on settlement

GrassTrees

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 14

How do I get my BPD partner respond to emails on settlement

« on: June 29, 2015, 08:28:44 PM »

The Judge wants us to divide our assets and settle on furniture and stuff.

I have submitted several lists and got some of my belongings out of the house with the BIFF method from Bill Eddy. It only worked once, now I am out in the rain again and he does not respond to anything. Means everything is stagnating.

What can I do to get him to respond?


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ForeverDad

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18643

You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...

Re: How do I get my BPD partner respond to emails on settlement

« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2015, 09:21:41 AM »

Submit the list you like best to the court, state ex hasn't responded and ask the court to make it an order. (You may have to include proof you sent or delivered it to ex.)

In case your ex contests or finally responds with a protest and wants extra stuff, it would probably be best to make it slightly better for you so that if you have to give some things up then it will end up reasonably fair. (One of our big risks is that we try to be too fair and then when more demands are made we end up agreeing to a very unfair settlement. And court won't care.)

My ex dragged her feet every step of the way during my divorce - the temp order was totally in her favor for custody and parenting - and it ended up taking nearly two years before I could get all the required boxes checked off.

The point is that you don't follow ex's timetable, non-response is a passive-aggressive delay and control tactic. Be proactive, keep things moving in court, that at least is somewhat under your control.


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livednlearned

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12865

Re: How do I get my BPD partner respond to emails on settlement

« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2015, 08:45:32 PM »

Can you get domestic assistance to go with you to the house? It's called different things depending on where you live.

These are police officers who escort you to the home, and they basically just stand by to make sure everyone keeps cool.


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