I guess I'm sort of curious with how people have dealt with this one during and after the relationship. I've only told this board and a therapist the full truth about the relationship. It made for a bit of a strange few years, like I had a horrible secret... .she was always very charming to everyone we'd spend time with socially but close friends and family knew I was struggling in the relationship but had no idea the extent of how dangerous it was. I guess I felt a bit of shame to be in something so toxic, I didn't want to concern them all, and i also didnt share with them because I didnt want them treating her different and possibly complicating my deal even further if she sensed I had said something.
Now that its over, I realize I'm still keeping it all to myself (other than this board). A part of me is still embarrassed for having been in what I deem to be an abusive relationship... Is this typical? I know its going to take me a moment to heal from being in something so twisted, trying to gauge whats the healthiest way to cope and move on.
I struggled with this
very thing. Our experiences are very similar. Even after the r/s ended I wasn't sure what to tell people because I hadn't figured it all out yet, and because I didn't want to "badmouth" her.
In the end, I told several close friends... .and of course my therapist. No one else needs to know. I'm comfortable with that decision.
If you share the entirety, choose whom you tell very, very wisely.