going through what seems to be finally a breakup with a possible BPD

[Wenu]

Hi everybody,

Is relieving to see there are other people there going through the same situations I have been going through and still am.

I am not sure if my bf is borderline, but I have been reading a lot about it, since something very nasty he has done to me about 10 days ago and I couldn't rationalise that someone that claimed to love me so much could do such extremely hurtful things to me. We had a relationship of about 18 months. The first 6 months was surreal I guess, to good to be true, the last year has been terrible, awful. I have seen him love me and hate me within the same hour. He's has done unacceptable things: lying, verbally abusive and offensive, physically violent, out of control rage tinted with life threats, had sex with ex partners, random one night stands, prostitutes. After all those transgressions, he's come back over and over again asking for a chance to "put things right", us to "have a clean slate", "that he's learned from his mistake", "that it's never going to happen again". There's always been a different "valid" justification for his wrongdoings, which I acknowledge I was (I wonder if unawaredly) "happy" to accept and keep moving forward with the relationship. Trying. When I list it all together I am actually embarrassed that I've been there tolerating it. Is hard to explain even to myself how is it that I cherished the relationship and him, and after so many things happened I was still there in love with his good side.

So I guess, I've been taking distance in the last couple months, and particularly in the  last week, as things have been getting progressively worse.

I haven't lied to him, not cheated or being violent in any way to him. However he insists in trying to find guilt in things not working out because of my recent distancing.

[Mutt]

Hi Wenu,



I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I can understand feeling embarrassed and I hope that you find it helpful to talk to others here that share similar experiences. It helps to talk.

I understand tha he's likely not diagnosed or he's not sharing a diagnosis. I have a person in my life that displays traits. We're no doctors and we can look at BPD behaviors and traits, feelings are like quicksilver with a pwBPD and can change rapidly within an hour.

Do you have family and friends for support? Are you living together or seperated for the last two months and I ask because his physical aggression.