BPD from Hell: Updated from December 2013

[Depression = 72% of members]

Timeline of My Ex's Relationships: (My ex is 43 and I am 39). This is an original post from 2013 when I was first on here. I added to it. Keep in mind... .she told me most of this within 2wks of dating her.



I hope this helps all the "newbies" and those struggling. Sometimes we repeat mistakes until we get badly burned or finally "just get it". I wish all of you well on your journeys.

-Pretty Woman


-Got pregnant with older (married) man's baby at 22

-Tells married mans wife she is pregnant by him. Breaks up marriage, breaks up with man and puts baby up for adoption.

-Marries man she meets while pregnant. Marriage lasts a year. He runs away with no notice for months. Tries to kill himself. She tells me she lost all respect for him after that.

-Dates first actual girlfriend #1

-Hangs out with bad crowd ends up with girlfriend #2 leaving girlfriend #1

-Girlfriend #1 contacts exes father to inform him ex is with bad crowd.

-Meets girlfriend #3 in a bar. This girlfriend (close to 400lbs) according to her, saves her from drugs and detoxes her.

-Leaves girlfriend #3 for girlfriend #1

-Leaves girlfriend #1 for girlfriend #4 for who she meets online in a BDSM chat room.

-Girlfriend #3 and #1 end up dating. My ex races back and "steals" girlfriend #1 back. Never speaks to girlfriend #3 again.

-Somewhere in the middle of all this ex ends up in a poly relationship with a man and wife. Dates wife and actually brings her to her moms 2nd wedding. Is the cause for the marriage to crumble and ends up staying with the husband for a year after the wife leaves.

-Girlfriend #1 and ex move to Oregon.

-Girlfriend #1 and ex break up and girlfriend #1 moves to Michigan, My ex moves in with Girlfriend #4 again.

-Girlfriend #4 dumps ex because she cheated on her with girlfriend #1 who was visiting.

-Ex buys a condo and moves in with Girlfriend #5.

-Girlfriend #5 supposedly rapes my ex. Girlfriend #4 saves my ex. Girlfriend #4 moves back with Ex. During this time exes father has an altercation with girlfriend #4 and pushes her. He also supposedly takes a sledgehammer and destroys all the floors in the house that girlfriend #4 layed. Girlfriend #4 moves out and ex sues her father (who owns the house technically) unsuccessfully.

-Ex sleeps with Girlfriend #1... .again. Cheats on #4.

-Girlfriend #4 breaks up with Ex and enters into a 10yr partnership. This is before a big trip ex is about to go on with ex #4.

-Ex goes on craigslist and meets a woman she takes on the trip (along with this woman's child?) This woman won't speak with her on the trip and ends up not letting her say goodbye to the kid.

-Ex moves to Wisconsin and starts dating Girlfriend #6, a crime scene detective. After a year, Girlfriend #6 dumps ex. (Ex still has pictures of this woman's dog on her FB). Says this woman dumped her because she was fat and all her friends didn't like her. She (my ex) had bought an engagement ring for this woman. She gives it back. Never talks to my ex again.

-Meets Girlfriend #7 from Iowa. They meet in Wisc in a bar. Carry on a 1yr long distance relationship (I know this ex). Not sure if co-currently dating with #8. During the course of this relationship they break up 3x. The 2nd two times ex leaves #7 for ex #1 and ex #4 even though both are taken (thought she would win them back or was using them as an excuse).

-Ex starts dating Girlfriend #8. Ex dates Girlfriend #8 for a year... .fraught with conflict (shocking). This ex is a prison psychiatrist (whom she tells me is a sex addicted stalker whom she has a restraining order against-when I meet her).

-Ex dumps Girlfriend #8 and meets Girlfriend #9.  This is a short relationship (3mo or so). This woman is a pro bodybuilder. Ex uses this woman to move her to IL.

-Ex moves back to IL and meets me.

-Ex tells me her ex #8 was a "stalker"

-Ex is talking to #8 one month into our relationship.

-#8 finds girlfriend and moves to Missouri. Ex starts talking to #4 whose relationship is on the rocks.

-Ex rages at me over something really stupid. Scares me. I tell her I don't think we should be together. Ex cries and begs me to stay with her so I recant.

-Ex leaves me for a week because I am unsure of being in this relationship. Blocks my phone number so I can't call her. We cannot communicate at all. She won't even listen to me, Week of Halloween. Comes back to me a week later.

-A day before my friend's party ex picks fight with me. Keeps me on phone for two hours day of party crying and angry at me. I arrive to my friend's house late. This is December. Ex returns two days before Christmas.

-Ex and I go away for NYE.  On NYD ex dumps me. Ex returns before Valentine's Day.

-Ex's ex #4 comes to town to visit in early April. I meet her. 

-In late May I want to reschedule dinner plans for another day with my ex because something bad happened at work. Ex tells me "this is ridiculous. we are over".   

-Ex ends up making plans to see her Ex#4. Goes from wanting to be friends with me to threatening a restraining order. Tells me she wants no relationship with me, friend or romantic and to not contact her or she will call the police.

-Ex says #4 is her new girlfriend. Returns two months later calling me 50+ times on the way back. I stupidly take her back.

-Due to lack of trust I start seeing ex less and planning more activities with friends. Ex mentions a mutual friend of ours she thinks likes her and would be interested if we were not together. Red flags!. I think my ex needs more friends so I am happy they are hanging out (dumb me).

-Ex#4  starts a new relationship with a woman. Talks to my ex less now that she has been burned... .years later.

-Ex dumps me for new girlfriend #10 and ceases all communication with me.

-Ex contacts me in January with a really lame email hook I fall for. Turns out she was in the hospital since Dec. Blew a disk in her back out. Turns out girlfriend #10 never visited her in the hospital. She never apologizes for leaving me... .but I'm sucked back in. Turns out she was also online chatting with a woman with Herpes during this time.

-I am in another relationship at this time and end up cheating with my ex (not my proudest moment). I date them both til June 2014, when my now ex calls the other woman and tells her I have been cheating on her for months.

-Ex and I have a fairly stable year. No real fights or rages. I have now pulled away emotionally though (and pretty much sexually). The toll of this relationship has caused me much depression and I feel alone even with her. She moves a mile from me and since August we have a puppy together that lives with her.

-In Dec I have major surgery and my ex takes care of me for two months. In Jan I plan a huge surprise party for my ex (for April). I invite my ex sisters. Both decline with the one I work with threatening to report me to HR for giving her dirty looks at work (a whole other story). I invite her mother who tells me I have poor taste and am a braggart because I am hosting this party at a friends house in a swanky downtown neighborhood.

-All my exes family stress is killing me. Ex is thinking I am going to dump her. I'm starting to think about that now realizing how awful this family is and now my job is threatened.

-Throw a huge birthday party for ex... .mostly my friends but ex #1 is there (she is now with a man) as is the ex from Iowa who is now married to another woman.

-We meet a new girl in May in my meetup group. She seems super nice and I am excited we are becoming friends. Tells me she just got out of a seven year relationship where she was cheated on. Still having trouble getting over it. Find out later this relationship ended in 2007 with them buying a house in 2005 and only living together two years. She tells me she is thinking of also dating men again.

-Ex mentions at an outing this woman is very attractive in our community (gay community) which doesn't go un noticed by me (the comment).

-Ex invites me bowling with her and this girl. I decline as I am trying to get ready for our big trip to Mexico.

-Next day ex says we need to talk. She is not leaving me but maybe we shouldn't date anymore. She is worried about my health since surgery and thinks we are more bffs than GF.

-Ex dumps me a day later. Changes the locks as I'm leaving. Says I can call her and she is "willing to talk" but never sees us together as a couple again. Says she thinks I'm capable of a relationship with someone, just not with her.

Me thinks she is right!

-I talk to the new girl and she actually tells me she wants to stay my friend while she dates my ex (who has convinced her we are only friends nothing more). I pretty much tell this woman where she can go and delete and block them from FB.

-Ex is blowing up Facebook with how much in love she is with this person, now known as #11 (if I throw myself in there).  Has contacted my friends to apologize for the awkwardness because she now wants to integrate this friendless girl into my social circle.

After three years and all of this I wonder how I'm still alive.



Moral of story: Do not get involved with someone who has more problems than you do.

[Pretty Woman]

Timeline of My Ex's Relationships: (My ex is 43 and I am 39). This is an original post from 2013 when I was first on here. I added to it. Keep in mind... .she told me most of this within 2wks of dating her.



I hope this helps all the "newbies" and those struggling. Sometimes we repeat mistakes until we get badly burned or finally "just get it". I wish all of you well on your journeys.

-Pretty Woman


-Got pregnant with older (married) man's baby at 22

-Tells married mans wife she is pregnant by him. Breaks up marriage, breaks up with man and puts baby up for adoption.

-Marries man she meets while pregnant. Marriage lasts a year. He runs away with no notice for months. Tries to kill himself. She tells me she lost all respect for him after that.

-Dates first actual girlfriend #1

-Hangs out with bad crowd ends up with girlfriend #2 leaving girlfriend #1

-Girlfriend #1 contacts exes father to inform him ex is with bad crowd.

-Meets girlfriend #3 in a bar. This girlfriend (close to 400lbs) according to her, saves her from drugs and detoxes her.

-Leaves girlfriend #3 for girlfriend #1

-Leaves girlfriend #1 for girlfriend #4 for who she meets online in a BDSM chat room.

-Girlfriend #3 and #1 end up dating. My ex races back and "steals" girlfriend #1 back. Never speaks to girlfriend #3 again.

-Somewhere in the middle of all this ex ends up in a poly relationship with a man and wife. Dates wife and actually brings her to her moms 2nd wedding. Is the cause for the marriage to crumble and ends up staying with the husband for a year after the wife leaves.

-Girlfriend #1 and ex move to Oregon.

-Girlfriend #1 and ex break up and girlfriend #1 moves to Michigan, My ex moves in with Girlfriend #4 again.

-Girlfriend #4 dumps ex because she cheated on her with girlfriend #1 who was visiting.

-Ex buys a condo and moves in with Girlfriend #5.

-Girlfriend #5 supposedly rapes my ex. Girlfriend #4 saves my ex. Girlfriend #4 moves back with Ex. During this time exes father has an altercation with girlfriend #4 and pushes her. He also supposedly takes a sledgehammer and destroys all the floors in the house that girlfriend #4 layed. Girlfriend #4 moves out and ex sues her father (who owns the house technically) unsuccessfully.

-Ex sleeps with Girlfriend #1... .again. Cheats on #4.

-Girlfriend #4 breaks up with Ex and enters into a 10yr partnership. This is before a big trip ex is about to go on with ex #4.

-Ex goes on craigslist and meets a woman she takes on the trip (along with this woman's child?) This woman won't speak with her on the trip and ends up not letting her say goodbye to the kid.

-Ex moves to Wisconsin and starts dating Girlfriend #6, a crime scene detective. After a year, Girlfriend #6 dumps ex. (Ex still has pictures of this woman's dog on her FB). Says this woman dumped her because she was fat and all her friends didn't like her. She (my ex) had bought an engagement ring for this woman. She gives it back. Never talks to my ex again.

-Meets Girlfriend #7 from Iowa. They meet in Wisc in a bar. Carry on a 1yr long distance relationship (I know this ex). Not sure if co-currently dating with #8. During the course of this relationship they break up 3x. The 2nd two times ex leaves #7 for ex #1 and ex #4 even though both are taken (thought she would win them back or was using them as an excuse).

-Ex starts dating Girlfriend #8. Ex dates Girlfriend #8 for a year... .fraught with conflict (shocking). This ex is a prison psychiatrist (whom she tells me is a sex addicted stalker whom she has a restraining order against-when I meet her).

-Ex dumps Girlfriend #8 and meets Girlfriend #9.  This is a short relationship (3mo or so). This woman is a pro bodybuilder. Ex uses this woman to move her to IL.

-Ex moves back to IL and meets me.

-Ex tells me her ex #8 was a "stalker"

-Ex is talking to #8 one month into our relationship.

-#8 finds girlfriend and moves to Missouri. Ex starts talking to #4 whose relationship is on the rocks.

-Ex rages at me over something really stupid. Scares me. I tell her I don't think we should be together. Ex cries and begs me to stay with her so I recant.

-Ex leaves me for a week because I am unsure of being in this relationship. Blocks my phone number so I can't call her. We cannot communicate at all. She won't even listen to me, Week of Halloween. Comes back to me a week later.

-A day before my friend's party ex picks fight with me. Keeps me on phone for two hours day of party crying and angry at me. I arrive to my friend's house late. This is December. Ex returns two days before Christmas.

-Ex and I go away for NYE.  On NYD ex dumps me. Ex returns before Valentine's Day.

-Ex's ex #4 comes to town to visit in early April. I meet her. 

-In late May I want to reschedule dinner plans for another day with my ex because something bad happened at work. Ex tells me "this is ridiculous. we are over".   

-Ex ends up making plans to see her Ex#4. Goes from wanting to be friends with me to threatening a restraining order. Tells me she wants no relationship with me, friend or romantic and to not contact her or she will call the police.

-Ex says #4 is her new girlfriend. Returns two months later calling me 50+ times on the way back. I stupidly take her back.

-Due to lack of trust I start seeing ex less and planning more activities with friends. Ex mentions a mutual friend of ours she thinks likes her and would be interested if we were not together. Red flags!. I think my ex needs more friends so I am happy they are hanging out (dumb me).

-Ex#4  starts a new relationship with a woman. Talks to my ex less now that she has been burned... .years later.

-Ex dumps me for new girlfriend #10 and ceases all communication with me.

-Ex contacts me in January with a really lame email hook I fall for. Turns out she was in the hospital since Dec. Blew a disk in her back out. Turns out girlfriend #10 never visited her in the hospital. She never apologizes for leaving me... .but I'm sucked back in. Turns out she was also online chatting with a woman with Herpes during this time.

-I am in another relationship at this time and end up cheating with my ex (not my proudest moment). I date them both til June 2014, when my now ex calls the other woman and tells her I have been cheating on her for months.

-Ex and I have a fairly stable year. No real fights or rages. I have now pulled away emotionally though (and pretty much sexually). The toll of this relationship has caused me much depression and I feel alone even with her. She moves a mile from me and since August we have a puppy together that lives with her.

-In Dec I have major surgery and my ex takes care of me for two months. In Jan I plan a huge surprise party for my ex (for April). I invite my ex sisters. Both decline with the one I work with threatening to report me to HR for giving her dirty looks at work (a whole other story). I invite her mother who tells me I have poor taste and am a braggart because I am hosting this party at a friends house in a swanky downtown neighborhood.

-All my exes family stress is killing me. Ex is thinking I am going to dump her. I'm starting to think about that now realizing how awful this family is and now my job is threatened.

-Throw a huge birthday party for ex... .mostly my friends but ex #1 is there (she is now with a man) as is the ex from Iowa who is now married to another woman.

-We meet a new girl in May in my meetup group. She seems super nice and I am excited we are becoming friends. Tells me she just got out of a seven year relationship where she was cheated on. Still having trouble getting over it. Find out later this relationship ended in 2007 with them buying a house in 2005 and only living together two years. She tells me she is thinking of also dating men again.

-Ex mentions at an outing this woman is very attractive in our community (gay community) which doesn't go un noticed by me (the comment).

-Ex invites me bowling with her and this girl. I decline as I am trying to get ready for our big trip to Mexico.

-Next day ex says we need to talk. She is not leaving me but maybe we shouldn't date anymore. She is worried about my health since surgery and thinks we are more bffs than GF.

-Ex dumps me a day later. Changes the locks as I'm leaving. Says I can call her and she is "willing to talk" but never sees us together as a couple again. Says she thinks I'm capable of a relationship with someone, just not with her.

Me thinks she is right!

-I talk to the new girl and she actually tells me she wants to stay my friend while she dates my ex (who has convinced her we are only friends nothing more). I pretty much tell this woman where she can go and delete and block them from FB.

-Ex is blowing up Facebook with how much in love she is with this person, now known as #11 (if I throw myself in there).  Has contacted my friends to apologize for the awkwardness because she now wants to integrate this friendless girl into my social circle.

After three years and all of this I wonder how I'm still alive.



Moral of story: Do not get involved with someone who has more problems than you do.

[Beach_Babe]

That's a good moral. What was your reaction to all this initially?

[Pretty Woman]

Beach,

    Well I hadn't dated much. I felt bad her life seemed so sad. I didn't really see this as a bunch of flags, I had no idea what BPD was. She told me she was ADD and probably hurt her brain from drugs in her wild days.

I think all her days are wild days. I trusted a person that just couldn't be trusted.

PW

[Beach_Babe]

I think all her days are wild days.

Lol.

My list of early  . Within the first week of meeting, told me:

*he was fascinated by torture as a child and often read historical books on the subject

*he had been institutionalized for 2 years and was made to urinate in a bucket.

*none of his peers at the institution liked him. Actually no one his whole life liked him. He told stories of being ostracized and bullied from infancy to the present. His classmates on a college trip took him aside and said he smelled. Another time for spring break  they left him at a rest stop hours from home. Always the victim poor me

*he believed a "committee" was responsible for all bad luck. This committee lived inside his head, and conspired against him.

*hitting his head when frustrated. No proper table manners (i.e: Eating things like a whole cake with his bare hands) 

*idealizing people he just met. He made best friends quicker than anyone I ever met, and they changed quickly. Demonizing those same people once they fell off their high horse.

I'm sure I'll think of more. Lol

[Beach_Babe]

Ok who has more red flags to contribute?

[LonelyChild]

I think all her days are wild days.

Lol.

My list of early  . Within the first week of meeting, told me:

*he was fascinated by torture as a child and often read historical books on the subject

*he had been institutionalized for 2 years and was made to urinate in a bucket.

*none of his peers at the institution liked him. Actually no one his whole life liked him. He told stories of being ostracized and bullied from infancy to the present. His classmates on a college trip took him aside and said he smelled. Another time for spring break  they left him at a rest stop hours from home. Always the victim poor me

*he believed a "committee" was responsible for all bad luck. This committee lived inside his head, and conspired against him.

*hitting his head when frustrated. No proper table manners (i.e: Eating things like a whole cake with his bare hands) 

*idealizing people he just met. He made best friends quicker than anyone I ever met, and they changed quickly. Demonizing those same people once they fell off their high horse.

I'm sure I'll think of more. Lol

This is interesting. My uBPDxgf says there are three people in her head who control luck in peoples lives.

Also no table manners (she wants to eat alone, never among others), banging head against walls when upset. No one likes my uBPDxgf either. This is not what she says though, but rather my observation.

[Beach_Babe]

Next time I see crap like this I am RUNNING

[Pretty Woman]

Beach,

    Ha ha! Was just thinking... .the best way to get in shape? Have a BPD marathon with all our exes behind us at the starting line. Could you see everyone running like hell?

Lol.