Today's Text Messages...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I sent my Husband an email, stating that basically all of the thinking of me and telling me he loves me doesn't really show he cares. It's actions that matter and I am not going to chase him. He needs to chase me. Considering he is in a r/s with someone else, yet he tells me he would rather be with me... .It is really messed up. Anyway, these are the texts for the day... .let me know your thoughts please... He seemed to really go off! I wondered if he changed his mind about seeing me while he is in the r/s that he told me is going nowhere. They are not alike and she wants him to move in and get married and have kids! He doesn't want any of this so he says... .they are both still married as well! He says he likes my lifestyle better too. Just wonder if I was too mean, but I see he is thinking I want him back and really putting me off... .that doesn't feel good either!


Him:

   U working?

Me:

   Yes

Him:

   Ok

Me:

   What's up? I'm done at 3:00 ish

Him:

   I'm closing. Just got ur email

Me:

   Any thoughts on the email?

Him:

   It's very accurate  

   I have told you for years you only deserve the best

Me:

   So you have changed your mind again?

Him:

   About what?

Me:

   Coming back

Him:

   I never said I was, I told you to not rush into divorce because you will lose your health benefits. Why do you put words in my mouth?  Go ahead and file than I can't afford both alimony and benefits. I told you that already

   Your impossible just as we were getting along

Me:

   ?

Him:

   Let me know how soon you can file so I can rest from this BS. I really thought we were getting along, thanks for showing me you

   You just hurt me K.  I was calling to talk to you... .peacefully

Me:

   Ok, I guess you are having a bad day. All the things you said to me, you must have not meant- I'm sorry- I'll leave you alone

Him:

   Said what?

   Forget it. Your off I have been up front and honest with u about everything.  Your the one keeping secrets that you think I don't know about

   When we can be friends again without you catching an attitude let me know

Me:

   I was over anxious about when you were coming back to see me again. I believe the things you shared with me. I know we both enjoyed our time together... .My email to you was basically saying that I'm not going to chase you- you can get in touch with me. You seem to agree with that statement. I don't know where all your anger came from - I was at work and couldn't text long sentences. I think you misunderstood me somehow. I appreciate your keeping me on the health insurance. You agreed to all of this because when you married me, you promised to take care of me til death do us part. This is not my fault that we are in this situation... .We can get divorced in jan. as planned. I don't know what you mean by my keeping secrets- I have none. I can appreciate your predicament financially, but again- your doing, not mine. I'm only saving money because I'm not spending it on myself, you or the house. I spent allot in the past. I have to save to pay my own taxes and get my own health insurance. I'm not rich or anything. I think things need to calm down here and I hope you don't still feel hurt. I didn't mean for that to happen at all.

[Herodias]

I sent my Husband an email, stating that basically all of the thinking of me and telling me he loves me doesn't really show he cares. It's actions that matter and I am not going to chase him. He needs to chase me. Considering he is in a r/s with someone else, yet he tells me he would rather be with me... .It is really messed up. Anyway, these are the texts for the day... .let me know your thoughts please... He seemed to really go off! I wondered if he changed his mind about seeing me while he is in the r/s that he told me is going nowhere. They are not alike and she wants him to move in and get married and have kids! He doesn't want any of this so he says... .they are both still married as well! He says he likes my lifestyle better too. Just wonder if I was too mean, but I see he is thinking I want him back and really putting me off... .that doesn't feel good either!


Him:

   U working?

Me:

   Yes

Him:

   Ok

Me:

   What's up? I'm done at 3:00 ish

Him:

   I'm closing. Just got ur email

Me:

   Any thoughts on the email?

Him:

   It's very accurate  

   I have told you for years you only deserve the best

Me:

   So you have changed your mind again?

Him:

   About what?

Me:

   Coming back

Him:

   I never said I was, I told you to not rush into divorce because you will lose your health benefits. Why do you put words in my mouth?  Go ahead and file than I can't afford both alimony and benefits. I told you that already

   Your impossible just as we were getting along

Me:

   ?

Him:

   Let me know how soon you can file so I can rest from this BS. I really thought we were getting along, thanks for showing me you

   You just hurt me K.  I was calling to talk to you... .peacefully

Me:

   Ok, I guess you are having a bad day. All the things you said to me, you must have not meant- I'm sorry- I'll leave you alone

Him:

   Said what?

   Forget it. Your off I have been up front and honest with u about everything.  Your the one keeping secrets that you think I don't know about

   When we can be friends again without you catching an attitude let me know

Me:

   I was over anxious about when you were coming back to see me again. I believe the things you shared with me. I know we both enjoyed our time together... .My email to you was basically saying that I'm not going to chase you- you can get in touch with me. You seem to agree with that statement. I don't know where all your anger came from - I was at work and couldn't text long sentences. I think you misunderstood me somehow. I appreciate your keeping me on the health insurance. You agreed to all of this because when you married me, you promised to take care of me til death do us part. This is not my fault that we are in this situation... .We can get divorced in jan. as planned. I don't know what you mean by my keeping secrets- I have none. I can appreciate your predicament financially, but again- your doing, not mine. I'm only saving money because I'm not spending it on myself, you or the house. I spent allot in the past. I have to save to pay my own taxes and get my own health insurance. I'm not rich or anything. I think things need to calm down here and I hope you don't still feel hurt. I didn't mean for that to happen at all.

[OnceConfused]

Herodias

Your story is very interesting. Your husband is in a r/s with someone else who is also still married.

Could you enlighten us by sharing why you want to stay in this marriage? What are in it for you and him ?