Feeling heartbroken, my psychiatrist ended our romantic conjugal relationship

[Kelseas]

  He has been my psychiatrist for two years prior to our relationship.  He pursued me and he is diagnosed bipolar but he has BPD Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde traits   Our relationship lasted 7 months, we lived together for four in his home. I felt this was all too good to be true. Someone who loves and adores me knowing everything about me and my bi polar illness.  In two months we were engaged. He took me around the world with his parents and his two daughters. 

The college of physicians and surgeons were alerted by being reported.  Everything fell apart, we were under a considerable amt of stress.  He was suffering severe acute anxiety. We were both abusing prescription drugs.  He started to withdraw, distance and look at me feeling shame and guilt for his actions. He felt embarrassed about me. 

I've never been so loved in my life.  But now it feels like I was part of a fantasy delusion.  I'm heartbroken, can't seem to stop the ache in my heart.  I feel used. 

[Turkish]

Hello Kelseas,

There are a lot of intense emotions here, especially given that you are both BPD. I have to ask, however, was it he who diagnosed you with BPD in addition to your Bi-Polar? Are you in contact with him at all?

Being embarrassed doesn't seem to be about you (though it feels like it), but about his actions by using his professional position to his gain.

You loved each other intensely. Even those of us who do not have BPD felt, "this is too good to be true." Those feelings were real, as is the ache you now feel. Processing this will take time. Are you being counseled by someone now to sort through this?

Turkish

[Sunfl0wer]

Kelseas,

(Crud, my laptop crashed on my long response.)

Your psychiatrist's behavior is absolutely abhorent, inexcusable, and a complete abuse of authority and trust!

I am glad he was reported!

It is natural to develop feelings for a person that you are sharing in such an intimate way.  It is a T/P role/duty to put these feelings in perspective for you and teach you how to cope with whatever surfaces.

As a client, we open ourselves up to be vulnerable... .to cross that line and behave romantically by a T or P is parallel to incest in terms of the betrayal of trust. (An understatement on my part)

I am so sorry that you have had this experience!

I cannot speak strongly enough towards your experience.

How are you coping?

I mean this in both the practical sense and emotional sense.


Do you realize that sexual feelings for a P is natural due to the intimate nature of the experience?

[Sunfl0wer]

I just read your previous post.

Is he the one who diagnosed you with BPD, or someone else?  Someone he referred you to? Or independent of him and his practice?