My reaction to new photo of my ex

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Wasn't sure where to post this... .in the leaving board or here but after some reflection I thought better put it here.

I am marginally active in social media... .not overboard... .and maintain FB connections with my exBPDgf's sister and her adult children. I like them, they like me and they are very interesting people. They live in Mexico so it is not like I hang out with them. Certainly I have been painted black by my exgf so the fact that they did not unfriend me says something positve about them, I suppose.  I am very careful not bug them and have turned off receiving updates from them occasionally when I am not feeling great.

To shorten this I scrolled through some FB updates today and saw a fresh pic taken by the exgf's sister of my ex today. They are visiting here from Mexico.  This is the second recent photo I have seen of my exgf on FB indirectly.  The first time I barely recognized her and wasn't sure it was her until I saw a distinguishing mark.  The photo from today was really unflattering and quite frankly, she looks horrible. Looks like she has aged 10 since I met her 4 years ago.  If I were to put a pic of her from 4 years ago and the fresh pic side by side they look like different people. 

My exgf was extremely good looking and her physical beauty was certainly a factor in keeping me hooked.  In the photo I saw today she was sporting very heavy dark eye makeup almost like a 2000s goth look and was just unhealthy looking. Have never seen her take a pic without smiling... .maybe her sister caught her offguard but who knows.

After seeing how terrible and sick she looked I immediately did a screen save on my phone and saved the photo.  My reason was to keep as an antidote for me if I ever found myself missing the old her... .I figure I could look at this pic and say yuk!

I can't remember if she looked so terrible when I was with her earlier in the year and all through 2014 and I just didn't notice?  Maybe she was on her way but I only saw what I wanted to during that time.

 

[nowwhatz]

Wasn't sure where to post this... .in the leaving board or here but after some reflection I thought better put it here.

I am marginally active in social media... .not overboard... .and maintain FB connections with my exBPDgf's sister and her adult children. I like them, they like me and they are very interesting people. They live in Mexico so it is not like I hang out with them. Certainly I have been painted black by my exgf so the fact that they did not unfriend me says something positve about them, I suppose.  I am very careful not bug them and have turned off receiving updates from them occasionally when I am not feeling great.

To shorten this I scrolled through some FB updates today and saw a fresh pic taken by the exgf's sister of my ex today. They are visiting here from Mexico.  This is the second recent photo I have seen of my exgf on FB indirectly.  The first time I barely recognized her and wasn't sure it was her until I saw a distinguishing mark.  The photo from today was really unflattering and quite frankly, she looks horrible. Looks like she has aged 10 since I met her 4 years ago.  If I were to put a pic of her from 4 years ago and the fresh pic side by side they look like different people. 

My exgf was extremely good looking and her physical beauty was certainly a factor in keeping me hooked.  In the photo I saw today she was sporting very heavy dark eye makeup almost like a 2000s goth look and was just unhealthy looking. Have never seen her take a pic without smiling... .maybe her sister caught her offguard but who knows.

After seeing how terrible and sick she looked I immediately did a screen save on my phone and saved the photo.  My reason was to keep as an antidote for me if I ever found myself missing the old her... .I figure I could look at this pic and say yuk!

I can't remember if she looked so terrible when I was with her earlier in the year and all through 2014 and I just didn't notice?  Maybe she was on her way but I only saw what I wanted to during that time.

 

[rotiroti]

I think during the honeymoon phase, it's easy to accentuate the beauty and the attraction of *any* ex! I had a similar reaction as you did about a month after the b/u.

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, and I think much of it evaporated when I had really seen my ex for who they are