Husband's exmistress has BPD

[goodwife]

Hello All,

My husband of 19 years (3 kids, 16, 14, 11) had an on/off affair for about a year with a woman that clearly has BPD. She has emailed and texted me hurtful things, she has threatened to hurt herself; their whole relationship was based on him 'saving' her and making her feel good about herself.

It is over, and we are rebuilding our marriage, but she won't leave us alone. Last night she called threatening suicide, and it was really the first time that he spoke harshly to her.

I am wondering, should I be afraid for my family? At what point will this end? Will it ever end?

-Goodwife

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Daniell85]

It ends when your husband says it ends.

Very often affairs simply go underground while a false reconciliation is taking place.

I have heard many times that the OW is mentally ill. Of course she is. In my case, the lady has been encouraged, pushed away, encouraged. I don't believe she is mentally ill. I believe she is upset at being given conflicting treatment.

This is the staying part of the forum. Probably you would get better feedback over on the leaving part of the forum. Or your husband would, because HE is the one involved in the situation directly.

My own thoughts.

[Cat Familiar]

I am so sorry.    My ex-husband had a long ongoing affair with an unstable woman. What ended it was that I introduced her to an ex-boyfriend. Poetic justice.

It totally sucks to be in your position. Have you thought about getting a restraining order against her?