Change of Venue Update

[Nope]

The court date to move the custody order to our state is fast approaching. Kids have been here nearly a year. Of course there has been crazy drama trying to get their uBPD mom served. We know she knows about the court date but we have no way of knowing if she intends to show up.

At this point there are three likely scenarios. 1. She calls the courthouse herself the last day before the court date and asks for a continuance. 2. She somehow found an L in our area who was dumb enough to take on her case without much if any retainer, and will have the L set up a last minute continuance, or 3. She won't show up or acknowledge anything at all and the change will just go through.

My money is on 1 or 2. Considering she hasn't even traveled to our state once in a year to exercise her local parenting time I don't think she'll show up for court. It has always been her method of operation to go completely quiet before court and then pull a new lawyer out of nowhere who needs time to get familiarized with the case and needs a continuance.

There is some irrational part of me that wants to believe it'll actually get done instead of getting continued. *sigh*

I'll update here.

[PinkieV]

I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!

We live two states away from BM, and had our original case continued twice - when we were already there either in the courthouse or court room.

My DH hasn't filed to move our case. It's a gamble. SS15 told her he wants to stay with us, and SS19 is here now too. She has a new "fiancé" and is very happy right now. We're not rocking the boat - didn't file for the scheduled increase in CS, aren't asking for reimbursement for anything. She has her 11-year-old "bipolar autistic" daughter at home, so that will hopefully keep her focused as well. In her state, I think SS15 has to be at least 16 to go to court, so we'll just keep our heads down and live our lives!

[Thunderstruck]

My SD's uBPDbm is pro se, and she just doesn't show up for court (claiming she can't take that time off of work) so a lot of our motions go through uncontested. She's only shown up for the temp relief hearing asking for insane amounts of child support.

Their court case is in the county where uBPDbm lives (and DH used to before he left her) but we live in another county and uBPDbm, DH, and I all work in the same county where we live (and our L's office is there too, so it's expensive for him to drive all the way up to the other county, ugh).

I don't think our uBPDbm would know to continue motions. She just chooses to delay, pretend to comply without actually complying, then blame the other side. 

Fingers crossed that it all goes through for you!

[Nope]

I don't think she's going to show up. I'm slowly starting to move into the camp of people who believe she is just going to ignore this like it's not happening. I'm strongly starting to suspect she'll ignore everything we bring to the court in our state like it's not happening. We've been in and out of court for years and she's always had an L up until now. So she should be pretty well versed in what her options are.

She just started a new job this week. I know she won't say one word to Enforcement about it, so there goes the small bit of child support we are getting from her paychecks. We are struggling with whether to chase her or let it go. Right now she takes her three mandated phone calls a week but has otherwise basically abandoned the kids. But I know that will only last as long as whatever is going on with the new boyfriend. The problem is that to her making DH's life miserable is her version of being an involved parent. So when she gets around to coming back it'll be with a vengeance. I just don't think it's wise to not strike while we have the leverage. But the other part of me wants to just deal with living life.

[Nope]

We got it! She was a no-show. Now to fill out a ton of paperwork to get the CS order filed properly with Enforcement.

But beyond that, we may look to tweak the phone call situation to say "reasonable phone contact" rather than letting her use her mandated calls to drive us crazy until the kids are 18. Might do a couple of other things while we are in there. But at least now there is no rush and we can live our lives pretty much without any fear of being dragged back three states from home whenever she decides she wants a fight.

[maxen]

 

[Thunderstruck]

Congrats! Glad it'll be easier for you now!

[ForeverDad]

Great news!  Is there a time period to wait in case she files for reconsideration or objection?  When I got majority time in 2013 the magistrate's order wasn't considered "written in stone" until some two weeks had passed and "Entry of No Timely Objections" was filed by the court personnel.  Only then did my parenting schedule change.

[Nope]

Great news!  Is there a time period to wait in case she files for reconsideration or objection?  When I got majority time in 2013 the magistrate's order wasn't considered "written in stone" until some two weeks had passed and "Entry of No Timely Objections" was filed by the court personnel.  Only then did my parenting schedule change.

I guess by not showing up she lost all rights to object. We were told to go ahead and let SC Services know.