Think my husband of five years may have this disorder..tired of walking on egg s

[Carrie1010]

One minute he can be nice as can be and in the very next he can be yelling at me because there's no room for his soap on the shower shelves. ... tells me I don't have "common sense" or that I'm "stupid"(I just graduated from nursing school so I suppose i have some intelligence)... .no matter what the issues are or how the day is going I'm just waiting for something to set him "off" I know it's just a matter of when not if it's going to happen.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ceruleanblue]

Welcome.

So sorry to hear that you are dealing with these difficulties in your relationship. A lot of us here can relate. Even if he doesn't have BPD, it sounds like he has some anger issues, or at least is rather verbally abusive at times. I didn't grow up in a family where things like that were said, so finding myself in a relationship where they were didn't sit well, and I didn't know how best to deal with it.

It's never okay for one partner to say such things to the other. Are you in therapy? I need to get back in therapy myself, for my own sake. I've found it to be helpful, and so can the tools to the right of this page. I'd also recommend the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells".

[ptilda]

Welcome, and I absolutely agree with the book recommendation. Also check out the lessons here and read through the threads. Interacting with others going through similar things can be encouraging and informative.

Most importantly, make space for you! Take time off. Learn about boundaries and use them consistently. No matter his actual diagnosis, boundaries and communication skills can help.